Smallville

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: B | Grade It Now!
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Of Curses and Comic Cons
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

The show opens in the midst of a comic book convention that a large banner helpfully identifies as MetCon. The convention floor teems with young men and women in costumes of varying levels of geeky fervor. One girl seems to be dressed as a sexy Tin Man, others look like generic anime characters. There's a guy who's dressed like the Green Arrow, but more like the one from the comics than the one from the show. My eye is drawn to a large statue of some unnamed and mostly naked hero because he has no crotch. Comic book male superheroes are known to have rather smooth and homogeneous packages, but this guy has nothing at all. His waist sits directly atop his thighs and he seems to raise his fist heavenward as if to cry, "Why have you cursed me with this wienerless existence?!" The camera focuses on a mop-topped boy wearing a Warrior Angel shirt and denim jacket, a backpack slung over his shoulders. He gazes around in awe. I wonder if they shot any footage at an actual convention? If not, the set and props departments deserve major kudos for the faithful recreation. The boy's attention focuses on the Warrior Angel booth. Warrior Angel, as you might recall from earlier seasons, is bald like Lex. He's actually the spitting image of Lex, if Lex ate nothing but raw eggs and steroids. He runs over to a display case that holds a super old, super rare Warrior Angel comic book. Ah, the good old days. Remember when comic books used to cost 10 cents? Yeah, me either. The comic's cover promises to reveal Warrior Angel's secret origins. The boy asks the booth operator, "Hey, Harry, is it true no one's ever read it before?" He says he read on the Internet that no one knows what the Warrior's secret battle cry is. Well, it probably sucked balls, if he didn't repeat it in any future issues. [What kind of crappy battle cry isn't ever spoken in public? Also, ignoring the fact that somewhere out there is an old dude who almost certainly has read this comic before, and that the Internet is made for disseminating that kind of information, hasn't this publishing company ever heard of a reprint? Or are they just never going to tell anyone their incredibly popular character's origin ever again? - Zach] The boy begs to have a look, but Harry gently scolds him. If anybody opens the book, the value drops. No one's so much as opened it before? It could be full of blank pages or cigarette ads for kids! Harry opens the case to lovingly dust the sealed comic. "Besides," Harry says, "there's nothing in that fantasy world that's going to make a lick of difference in the real world." [Yes, because that is the philosophy of most comic book fans and dealers. - Z]

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Smallville

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