Smallville

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Tippi Blevins: B | Grade It Now!
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Of Curses and Comic Cons

Back from the commercials. Clark's been busy out Blurring it up. Two aspiring criminals have been wrapped in a fence and Clark's standing there in front of them, admiring a job well done. Gee, I hope the thugs are actually unconscious and not just faking it so they can get a good look at you in your super-secret superhero outfit. Dork. His hair looks really pretty, though. He gets a call from Lois, wondering where he is. He lies (sort of) that he got busy doing chores and then lies (outright) that he's currently in his truck heading her way now. She's at the con, still sweaty and disheveled in her storm trooper outfit. She asks him to stop by her place to pick up something out of her closet. [Twelve sticks of deodorant? A fresh set of skin? You do not come out of those things smelling like roses. - Z] She babbles a mile a minute about Clark "cashing in so many rain checks lately" because he's busy all the time. A third thug appears from behind a dumpster and makes a break for it. Without missing a beat, Clark reaches into a nearby trashcan for a can of beans [Hey, who threw away perfectly good beans? - Z] and chucks it at the sprinting thug, hitting him in the head and knocking him out. He superzips over to Lois's apartment at the Talon and goes through her closet, taking note of some of the sexy costumes she's worn in past episodes. Finally, he finds the garment bag that she needs and zips away with it. He didn't seem as giddy at the prospect of Lois in a French maid outfit as you might expect.

Somewhere in what looks like a janitorial locker room, a young boy is admiring his new manly body in a full-length mirror. Every closeup of his smoking hot physique corresponds to panels in the stolen comic book: Pecs like marble? Check. Washboard tummy you could grate cheese on? Check. Biceps that bunch with every move? Check. Recapper feeling a little gross that there's supposed to be a 12-year-old boy in there? Double check. [Both Captain Marvel/Shazam and Prime have a similar gimmick. It can get awkward. - Z] Chloe shows up behind him to teasingly scold him for the hit-and-run. He's at a momentary loss for words, trying to think of something a hero would say. He finally turns to her and says, with exaggerated seriousness: "You're welcome, citizen." She looks a little dazed, possibly by the sunlight glinting off his naked torso. She collects herself and says, "You left a not-so-subtle trail of breadcrumbs on your way over here for the quick-change." He apologizes, saying he didn't realize how fast he was. Figuring things out along the way, he mutters to himself about there not being a sonic boom when he ran. "So, not that fast, I guess." Chloe awkwardly gestures at his bod until he catches the drift and puts on a gray T-shirt. "Not very heroic," he apologizes with a smile. She tells him she knows a superhero when she sees one: "I'm sort of in the business of helping superheroes." He wonders why no one's dad ever mentioned that on Career Day. "Are you for real?" he asks. Yep! He introduces himself as Stephen Swift and they shake hands. He squeezes a little too hard and apologizes, but instead of letting go just lightens up. She suggests they get coffee sometime and talk about all this. "That sounds really... cool," he says with all sincerity. They're still holding hands. They smile and make googly eyes at each other for a while. Finally, he wonders if she'd like to go get that coffee now. Uh... sure! More smiles and happy eyes back and forth.

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Smallville

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