Smallville

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Tippi Blevins: B | Grade It Now!
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Of Curses and Comic Cons

So... how was this curse supposed to work? Is it just a coincidence that the story matches Alec and Chloe's interactions? Or was the curse designed to tailor itself to whoever opened the book first? And how in the hell did the publisher never open it? And why would John Zatarra make a curse that turned the thieving publisher into a super-powerful villain? That seems really dangerous. Why not just turn him into, like, a can of cling peaches or something? I think someone cursed the Smallville writer's room.

Back to the story at hand: Chloe is out on the streets of Metropolis, texting the erstwhile Stephen to meet her. He immediately appears beside her, bubbly as ever. "I got a bunch of new games I think you'll like," he says. Did you steal them, too? He notices Chloe isn't thrilled. She knows his real secret, she says. He stole a cursed comic book and he's a lot younger than he looks. "It was just an accident!" Stealing is not an accident, you little brat in a super-hot grown man's body. Chloe wants him to let Zatanna undo the curse, but Alec doesn't want to go back to the way he was now that he's a real hero. He can defend himself against bullies now. "Do you know how much my actual life sucked?" he spits. I mean, he literally spits. There's angry spittle on his lower lip. He grows increasingly angry. "This is everything I ever wanted. No one can ever hurt me again!" She tries to calm him down, but he's not having it. He gets all scary quiet. "I won't go back," he says, "and you can't make me." Chloe looks scared. The camera zooms on his right eye, which flashes with red light and images from the comic book that show Warrior Angel morphing into a villain. When we zoom back out, he's all super pale and veiny and wearing a black leather ensemble. His hair has been gelled to preposterous heights. Chloe turns to run away, but he speeds around to block her escape. Tense music plays. Chloe looks like she's regretting her brief moment of fun.

Watchtower. Zatanna readies the reverse-a-curse. This involves a large pentagram made of instant potato flakes, from appearances. The comic book lies open at the center. Meanwhile, the Watchtower's computers have aged Alec's photo and matched it to images of "Stephen" saving Chloe at MetCon. Clark is stunned. "Why didn't she say something?" he asks. Zatanna understands: "If you found out your hero was a 12-year-old, how would you have reacted?" Clark knows Chloe would have tried to fix it herself. He turns on his super-hearing and picks up Chloe begging to be let go. He turns to Zatanna: "Please tell me your counter-curse is ready to go." Zatanna sighs: "As ready as it's going to be." That sounds... reassuring. Clark rips open his dress shirt to show his Blur "S" shirt underneath. He whooshes off to save the day. Meanwhile, Zatanna keeps working on the counter-curse. The potato flakes burst into flames. "Sins of the father shall not be repeated," she says with admirable enunciation. Then, her eyes glowing blue, she says the same words backwards.

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Smallville

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