Commercials. Jared is still going, eating Subway all the time. But is that really any way to live?
The paramedics have arrived at the woods, but there are no police there. Chloe is telling the paramedics that there are seeds in Jimmy that can only be killed with electricity. "You're insane," one of them tells her. They obviously haven't heard about the vine attack at the hospital. Chloe tells them that they have to defibrillate Jimmy or he'll die. The pushy guy says that he'll go into cardiac arrest, and tells Chloe to back off. Then, for no good reason, they let Chloe get into the ambulance and sit by herself in the back with Jimmy. That doesn't seem wise. Before they take off, Chloe grabs the paddle, moves Jimmy's shirt, and does the defib herself. "Back off! They're hot!" Chloe says, aiming the paddles at the paramedics. Chloe whispes, "Please don't let me kill him," and then gives Jimmy a dose. He jerks. Then he wakes up. Jimmy looks at Chloe and at the machinery. "Did you just paddle me?" he asks, and it's as cute as it sounds. Chloe sits heavily. "Yeah," she says. She smiles. Jimmy lies back.
More whiny music. Out in the alley behind the Talon, Oliver is dropping Lois off. He tells her that he enjoyed taking her captive. "Only because I let you," she reminds him. Oliver dips Lois a bit and says that he'd like to kiss her now. Lois seems like she's into it, but then backs away. "Uhhh," she says, "the lady requires a show of skill before awarding you with her favor." Oliver says that's what he was going for with the kiss. Lois says, "Let's make it interesting." Good luck with that. She tells Oliver if he can hit a can with his arrow, she's his. It's not too far away. "It's that easy, huh?" he asks. "It's that hard," she says. He says that he'll go for it. He heads for the tiny yellow sports car parked nearby, and busts out with an arrow and his shiny green gloves. Lois watches. Oliver says, "Here goes nothing." He aims, and releases his arrow at a soda can sitting atop a Dumpster. The arrow flies and goes in slow motion. It seems to miss. "Better luck next time, Hood," Lois says. She goes inside. Oliver is smiling. Close-up on the arrow. The tab from the can is swinging around the tip of the arrow. Nice shot, dude! And wise move not getting mixed up with Lois. Maybe you're a smart guy after all. Hey, I just noticed. Oliver was wearing green eye makeup behind his mask earlier, but now it's gone. I think it's called "The Batman Eye Makeup Conundrum."
How's your stomach doing? Is your stomach all right? Because we're about to go full-on Lex + Lana. Ready? All right, let's do this. The song that was playing in the last scene continues. It's by James Carrington, and it goes, "Have I told you I ache?" Dude, like, every single day on this show, are you kidding me? Lex is holding Lana's hand as they walk down the hall toward his office. He tells her it's a night of firsts: it's the first time he's danced like that and the first time he's felt so satisfied. Hey, Lex, just wait. Lana, sounding dubbed here, says that she was expecting the word "happy" to come out of Lex. He says that happiness is just a feeling of euphoria -- just brain chemistry -- and why relationships fail when the honeymoon ends. Lana asks if Lex has always been such a romantic. Still holding hands, Lex says that he'd be saying gushy things if Lana were any other woman. But, he says, Lana isn't like anyone else. Of course she's not. Haven't they tried to remind us of that for something like 110 episodes? Lana tells Lex to be careful, because she's dangerously close to being satisfied. She smiles, and it's full-on Kreukferatu again. Lex says that his evil plan must be working. Lana laughs. Lex asks what changed to make her grace his arm tonight. She says, "Life. Wanting to live it." They stand by the fire. Lana unbuckles Lex's cape and takes it off. "What are you doing?" he asks. She unbuckles his breast plate and takes that off, too. She takes off Lex's shirt, exposing his chest. They kiss. Lex stands there in only a skirt. All right, it's pretty hot. What can I say? More kissing. Lex turns Lana around so that her back faces us. He takes off her dress. Her back is exposed. James Carrington asks if he told us he aches. Yeah. You did. He asks again. More kissing. Naked kissing. I think Lex is suddenly kissing a taller body double, but I could be wrong. So, Lana has had sex to Coldplay and to James Carrington. Call me when she starts doing it to Enigma or Tool. The show is trying to make it all pretty and romantic, but let's face it: Lana and Lex are totally fucking tonight. Suck it, Clana fans.













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