Smallville
Smallville

Episode Report Card
Omar G: C | 574 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
All-American Reject

The Talon. Daytime, American flag out front. On a couch or futon in the living room of the apartment upstairs, there are blankets and a pillow. There's a knock at the apartment door. Chloe answers it; it's Clark. He asks how life is living with Lois. A slog through Hell with no water; what did you think? Why is Chloe sleeping on a damn couch when the Kents have plenty of room for a guest and Chloe should be more than welcome? Chloe says that Lois's place is closer to coffee but further from sanity. She starts to say something about Metropolis University being closed, but goes into a bit about the saying that involves not looking a gift horse in the mouth. Clark says that's difficult, because Lois uses her mouth so much. Chloe moves aside her blankets and tells Clark about the body she found the night before. The guy from the car disappeared, and the girl was killed. Clark asks if Chloe thinks the guy killed the girl. Chloe calls the dude a "freshly minted pimple popper," and says she doubts he was physically capable of getting the girl up in that tree. Chloe whispers that it wasn't exactly normal, if Clark knows what she means. "What do you mean?" Clark whispers back. Chloe says that impaling someone in a tree in five minutes isn't humanly possible. It is if you have a catapult. The killer totally had to have a catapult. Go look for a catapult in the woods, Clark. Clark wonders if the guy was a meteor freak. Maybe it was a microburst. As opposed to a microverse. Chloe says that's their only lead, and that the guy is still missing. Clark asks what Chloe was doing at Makeout Point. Just then, someone walks in through a door that I don't think is the front one. It's Jimmy. He's all casual: "What's up, C.K.?" Clark looks at Chloe. She should say "Baaa!" because she's looking pretty sheepish. Clark seems a little hurt.

Kent Farm. Someone is checking their email. It's from "jobopportunities@metropolis_inquisitor.com" (ghastly email address), sent to "lois_lane@digitalwave.com." The subject: "Re: Re: Job Opportunity." Email text: "Do you want the job or not?" Worst HR department ever! There's not even a sig on the message. Lois puts a pen in her teeth -- which I hope she doesn't always have to do to answer email -- and starts typing on her laptop. She's wearing a Freddy Krueger Signature shirt: it's a t-shirt-with-white collar version of his famous sweater. There's a knock at the door. We don't find out if Lois took the job. Her screen just says, "Your Message Has Been Sent" when she gets up to answer. At Lois's door is Oliver Queen, wearing a white t-shirt, leather jacket, and spiky anime hair. He and Lois stare at each other, instantly smitten, before anyone speaks. "Hey!" Lois says. What a wit on her! "Hi," he answers. He hands her a letter-sized envelope with the QUEEN logo on the return address area and "ATTN: Martha Kent" on the address. Lois thanks him, and then snarks that it must have caught a strong headwind, because she's been waiting for this letter for weeks. Oliver says that she's welcome. He's still standing there. Lois realizes (or thinks she realizes) that he's expecting a tip. She digs in her pocket for some bills, and tells him that with a face like that, he shouldn't have to play delivery boy for the rich and arrogant. Oliver thanks her, apparently not knowing what the money is for. "Your tip," Lois tells him. "It's a tip?" Oliver asks. "Seriously, aim higher," Lois says, and then slams the door on him. He starts to say something before the door closes, and we see him smiling through the window pane. What a charmer she is, huh, Oliver? You should totally go for it. You'll probably make it almost a year or two before you claw your ears off and then hang yourself. Oliver walks away.

Smallville

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