Commercials. The Mist. I sure hope this movie doesn't suck because I've been looking forward to it for a while.
We are nestled below the big sad field tree as two blurry shapes whiz by us. Is Clark chasing the dragon? Inside the barn, we see Lana stopping herself from a burst of superspeed, all giddy and pink. Clark, the wuss, tells her she has to be careful. Lana says that she was moving and everything else was frozen. She thinks it's cool. Cool would be if we were all moving and Lana was permanently frozen. "How come you didn't tell me it was like this!?" Lana exclaims. Because Clark has no capacity for sharing or experiencing joy. Clark says it's one of those "Had to be there" kind of things. He tries to explain that it took a long time to adjust to his powers, but Lana takes the opportunity to whoosh up to the stairs. Why would Lana appear to be in fast motion to Clark? Lana, upstairs in the loft, tells Clark to Relax the Back Store -- she's got it under control. Clark, at normal speed, goes upstairs, telling her that these abilities can be dangerous. He says they have to get rid of the powers. Lana, already two steps ahead to "full-on horny," tells Clark that being on a level playing field could have its advantages. She grins at Clark. "Like what?" he asks. Lana looks at him like he's the cutest, most pathetic virgin ever. She steps forward and looks at him sexily. Tango music starts to play. Oh, man. I think we're about to go to a very dark, moist place. Clark circles around, suddenly nervous, saying he doesn't think this is a good idea. Lana pushes him against a barn beam and it breaks. Hey! This is my fucking barn, Lana! Hay falls. Lana, grabbing Clark by the blue jacket, pulls him to her and kisses him. She looks at him hungrily. Clark is superaroused. "There's no harm in trying," she says. This is The CW, after all. Who's gonna see it? Clark finally smiles. Lana takes off her jacket, giving Clark a "Come hither" look. She starts to take off her blouse. Clark can't hold it in. He picks up Lana at superspeed and takes her somewhere. We cut to the giant tree. It is weeping for this show. We hear a rhythmic thumping. Leaves fall. They are totally doing it. Al and Miles are officially 12 years old and giggling just outside of the camera's view. At least they spared us a montage of trains going into tunnels and oil spurting from the top of a derrick.