The Writers Strike is in full swing. That means we may have a short season. And that probably means a Season Eight. You think they'd kill this Gold Kryptonite Goose? No way, man. It's on until the break o' dawn. And my spine.
Clark and Lana are riding horses through the fields as alt-crap music plays. What they may be saying to each other is unimportant because all you think watching this is Massengill:
Lana: Clark, even with all your superpowers [jumps a fence] do you ever get that...not so super feeling?
Clark: Oh, jeez, all the time. You wouldn't believe the swamp-ass I get in there sometimes.
Lana: Which power are we talking about?
Clark: The power to sweat like a man. I can stink up a five-mile radius.
Lana: I think we should see other people.
Alas, it only ends with Lana and Clark getting off their horses and Lana giddy at the fact that racing them is one of the few things she's better at than Clark. She thanks Clark for a romantic afternoon that included champagne (pronounced, "Cham-pag-nah" by me, just for fun) and truffles. Truffles? Where did Clark get truffles? Oh, wait, I forgot about that new odd shop in the town square: Mr. Truffleupagus. Clark asks if all this romance is overkill. Oh, God, yes, Clark. Champagne and truffles on the same day? You absolute beast! They need to lock you up before you ruin it for all men. Lana says she loved it. Sadly, she associates that kind of kindness with somebody wrecking her car or sleeping with her (non-existent) sister. Lana is all kinds of fucked up in the head, Clark. You should know this. And yet, you don't use that superspeed to run away at a high velocity. For that reason, you are fucked up, too. As they tie their horses to the fence, Clark whines that lately Lana's seemed a little distant. Huh? What was that? Sorry. I was miles away. Lana, still looking away, says remotely, "Guess I've been busy." Busy ignoring your lame ass. Clark continues being a leaky vagina, saying that they finally have a chance to make this relationship work. Lana says she's adjusting to her new life (which is really just her old life with a dash of sneaky thrown in). Clark rubs the horse's nose for good luck and dives into the emotional sinkhole that is being with Lana. He says he knows what this is about. Do you, farmboy? Do you really? As they walk, Clark says that all this business lately with his cousin from Krypton has made their lives crazy and abnormal. Lana says that if she wanted normal, she'd date someone who didn't shoot fire from his eyes. We call it "Eyejaculation," Lana. And it's a bit sexy. Clark and Lana stare at each other, then kiss. Clark lies and says that if everything they've been through was just for that, it was worth it. It's sweet, but really dumb. "Awww" music plays. Lana smiles warmly. There's thunder, which is all the foreshadowing of doom you really need. The horses react. Lana and Clark rush to get them inside. As they go inside a fence, Clark suddenly stumbles against a windmill. It's the old meteor rock sickness. You'd think there wouldn't be any rocks left around the farm by this point. Lana looks down and spots the glowing green rock. She picks it up to toss it in the field instead of disposing it somewhere that Clark might not stumble upon it again. Just then, lightning hits the top of the windmill. We see it flow down and zap both Clark and Lana, sending them flying back. The windmill itself cracks at the base and begins to fall over. Clark, having rolled, looks up to see it falling down toward him. Suddenly, it stops. Clark looks over. Lana is standing there, holding the windmill up with her arms. She raises it higher. Clark stares at his girlfriend. She smiles at Clark like, "Holy shit, dude!" I'm not a fan of Lana, but it's a very endearing look.