Smallville

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Omar G: C- | 1 USERS: F
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Hell Hath No Lana...

Lana, wearing a hilarious black turtleneck, is watching all this from her computer HQ at Isis. She sees, on security footage, Lex leading his scientist to a hallway safe. He removes a painting to open it. He tells the scientist that Project Scion has to remain confidential. They put the hard drive in the safe as Lana watches. She whooshes out of there, sending papers flying. We zoom in on the monitor to see Lana suddenly appear. She takes the painting off and eyejaculates on the safe. She pulls the door off by its handle and grabs the hard drive. Thief!

Commercials. Music is my girlfriend, too, Apple!

LuthorCorp building fly-over. The building is still angular. PapaLuthor is at his desk, wearing a full suit and tie, talking to MamaKent on the phone. Hey, baby. What are you wearing? A business suit appropriate for Congressional business? That is so hot. Papa tells MamaKent that he knew she'd make an impression on Washington. We don't get to hear her voice, sadly. Papa Luthor, playing with a stress ball in his right hand, says, "Two bills in one session? That's truly remarkable." MamaKent is so awesome, she even found a way to pass the animated "I'm Just a Bill" from Schoolhouse Rock. It was easy to find him. He was just sitting on Capitol Hill. Papa congratulates MamaKent just as Clark walks in through the sliding door. He chuckles and says goodbye. No dinner date? Clark looks worried. Papa swivels in his chair and greets Clark. He says that thanks to Clark's mom, they finally have a Senator who'll put Kansas on the map. If it's not on the maps now, that's a terrible omission. Clark refrains from saying something sassy like, "Well, thanks to your mom, I'm all sore from last night. BOOSH!" ["We would have also accepted "KA-KOW!" -- Joe R] Clark sort of rolls his eyes, as if he knows something dirty might be going on. Papa notices Clark's troubles. "What is it, son?" he asks. Clark sits down opposite Papa and says another woman is about to make her mark. "It's Lana," he says. He reveals that Lana has his abilities. Clark says he needs to switch her back. He thinks Papa Luthor might have the technology to do it. Papa Luthor looks worried and distracted. He stands, it's so awful. He asks if Clark realizes the potential danger that's involved here. Dude, we've been saying Lana is shitty and dangerous since Season One. We are very worried! Papa says, "She is not...may not be the person you think she is." She's way, way worse. Clark, rosy-cheeked, thinks it'll take some time for her to get over what Lex did to her. Papa says that's not it. Still squeezing his ball, Papa comes around the desk and says that Lana was responsible for his imprisonment in the shack by the dam. Clark says that Lana is incapable of doing something like that. Open your eyes, dickweed! Papa asks if Clark has ever allowed himself to take an honest look at Lana. Clark stands, annoyed. He thinks Papa Luthor thinks he's wasting his time with Lana when he should be following Jarnelle's Master Plan. Clark says it's his decision to make. Papa sighs with a, "Yeah..." Yeah, Clark, about that master plan...you're failing it, big time. Papa tells Clark about Samson and Delilah. Clark is intrigued because he thinks Papa's talking about Davey and Goliath and he loves that cartoon. Papa says that Samson trusted Delilah with the secret of his strength, but it didn't keep her from betraying Samson. Clark doesn't see the connection.

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Smallville

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