Smallville
X-Ray

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Omar G: B | Grade It Now!
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Slash-o-Vision

The suave palace of Lex. "Can I fix you a drink?" Lex asks seductively of the nasty reporter Nixon, who is visiting to pick up his extortion money. The fireplace is going. Stacks of money sit on a table. The reporter doesn't want to stay. "You're feeling pretty good about yourself, aren't you?" Lex asks. Nixon takes the money, slips it into a bag Lex provided, and moves to leave. "If you walk out that door, I will make you disappear," Lex says. What follows is the smoothest transition to somewhat-evil I've ever seen. "You gonna have me killed?" Nixon asks, bemused. "No," Lex assures him, "you'll be very much alive." Lex tells him that he's going to have Nixon's identity erased, clearing all evidence that he ever walked the earth. Go, Lex! Wish I could do that to a certain person who cybersquatted a domain name of mine. "You're bluffing," Nixon says. Lex leans over the pool table, massaging the pool cue as is his phallic wont. Lex tells Nixon to call the bank and see whether his account still exists. If his cell phone still works, that is. "What did you do?" Nixon asks with dawning horror. Lex assures him that he'll have a new identity: a less savory one. One with murder or drug dealing in the mix. "Either way, you'll lose your house, your life and your family," Lex tells him. Nixon gets desperate, saying he just wants to leave the money and call it even. Lex don't play that. He says he knows that Nixon has a brother who works for the juvenile courts. That's how Nixon got Lex's record. "Leave him out of this," Nixon whines. Lex says he's not the one who got the brother involved. Evil Lex, go! Lex thrusts his cue stick menacingly and asks whether Nixon thought he could just shake Lex down because he was a rich boy. "Trust me. When I make things disappear, they stay buried," Lex says. He turned evil so fast! I thought it would take at least two seasons. Lex then makes his offer. He wants Nixon to be in his pocket. To run stories in the Inquisitor when Lex asks for them. A journalism slave. How handy! Lex leads Nixon to a room where the twisted wreckage of Lex's car from the first episode sits under bright lights. Lex says he wants to know how he's still alive after crashing the car at 60 mph. The reporter's going to help solve that mystery. Uh oh.

Nighttime. House 'o Clark. Clark is sitting on the porch trying to see through the lead box that Lex gave him for Lana's necklace. It doesn't look like he's having much success. Lana comes up wearing the pink sweater. Clark stares at her for a moment and reveals that he wasn't sure whether it was really her. She ignores the weirdness inherent in that remark and says she was jogging and just ended up there. Whiny strummy music plays. Lana tells X-Ray Boy about her mom's diary and her fight with Nell. She reveals that a lot of the things her mom felt then, she's feeling now. "It's great and it's frustrating and it's scary. Like she could see right through me," Lana says. She asks whether Clark ever felt like that. "More than you know," he says. I think I just got hit on the head by a stray block of cheese. Did anybody see that? More talk about the dead mom. Lana asks whether Clark ever tried to find his biological parents. He says no, and that they're a million years from his life now. Only he forgot to add the word "light" to the word "years." He says that if he could talk to his parents, he would ask what happened and why they let him go. And why he has these crazy powers like being able to slice a pizza with his bare hand! What kind of strange pizza-cutting planet did he come from? Clark finally tells Lana that he hopes she finds what she's looking for. She looks like she's about to cry.

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Smallville

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