Smallville
X-Ray

Episode Report Card
Omar G: B | Grade It Now!
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Slash-o-Vision

High-school hallway. Shapeshifta' Girl is just standing there in a pink outfit. Clark is across the hall staring at her as if trying to see through her pants and all the way into her uterus. "Hello, Clark!" we hear. It's those jolly jackals, Sneaky Pete and Chloe, trying to get X-Ray Boy's attention. Clark asks whether they know anything strange about Shapeshifta' Girl. Chloe says nothing that would necessitate Clark's steely gaze. Pete pipes up that the girl adores Lana. Who in this town doesn't? Chloe says that Shapeshifta' wants to be Lana's clone. How right she is. Pete and Chloe leave, allowing Clark to continue his one-man staring contest. Shapeshifta' notices Clark's look and glares at him. He averts his eyes.

Jocko Whitney and Lana exit a class, and are accosted by Shapeshifta' Girl in the hall. "I swear that girl's got you lojacked," Jocko whispers to Lana. "How do you like my sweater?" Shapeshifta' asks them. It's the same pink one that Lana was wearing earlier. Shapeshifta' says she got it at the same store as Lana, when she went on a shopping spree. She also shows off an emerald necklace she's got. She's Jennifer Jason Leigh! "Why am I not surprised?" Jocko says. Is he...dare I ask...acting? Good heavens, boy, stick to moving your floppy hair around for the camera! Shapeshifta' Girl gives Jocko a sour look, and he leaves. Shapeshifta' has Lana all to herself now, and she asks a big favor. She tells Lana that her mother's moving to Metropolis, and that Shapeshifta' wants to move in with Lana and Nell for a few months. She even offers to have her mom pay them and to buy a horse so that they can fulfill some crazy girl fantasy. Cuckoo! Lana hesitates and says she doesn't know whether it would be a good idea. This pisses off Shapeshifta' Girl. Her mood gets darker and darker until she finally goes off on Lana. She accuses Lana of just pretending to like her. Crazy girl! "You should have said yes, Lana!" she yells. "It would have been perfect!" and storms off. I'm more afraid of her than I was of Electricity Guy, Bug Boy, and The Wonder Coach combined.

Shapeshifta' goes to her locker. X-Ray Boy follows. When she walks away, he goes over to her locker and looks through it. There's the bag of money! Hooray for our superhero teen! "Clark!" we hear. It's Shapeshifta'! Run, Clark! "What's your glitch, huh? Why do you keep staring at me?" X-Ray Boy brilliantly improvs, "Uh, I dunno." He says sorry and walks off. She looks at him, darkly.

Kent Family Barn. X-Ray Boy tells it all. The locker, the X-Ray vision, everything. She's so busted.

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Smallville

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