Smallville
X-Ray

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Omar G: B | Grade It Now!
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At the antique shop, suspense music plays as Shapeshifta' spots two cops approaching. We hear her bones a-crunchin' as she turns into her mother. She leaves the stores as the cops arrive. They say they're looking for her daughter. They tell her everything: the money from the locker, and that somebody from the school ratted her out. They're not supposed to shoot their mouths off like that! Worst cops ever. The wheels of revenge are in motion.

Barn again. Clark is sitting, staring deeply into a football-shaped piggy bank. Is that the most corny teen Americana object ever? Did he get it with his Sports Illustrated subscription? Lana walks in wearing a yellow sweater thing. She asks what he's doing. He's trying to figure out how much change is in the bank. "You could always take it out and count it," she says. But that wouldn't be Super, would it? Lana tells X-Ray Boy that Shapeshifta' Girl was caught with the bank loot. Lana starts talking strange about Nell and dual identities and the outer face that everybody sees. Is something...fishy going on? Clark says he knows how she feels. "I think you're the only person who sees me for who I truly am," Lana says. Then she kisses Clark, big time. Okay, I completely suck because I fell for this, hook, line, and sinker. The kiss is this awkward thing. Clark sticks out his tongue like it tastes awful. It's just a bad, bad kiss. "What about Whitney?" he even interrupts to ask. He wants to kiss Whitney? "Forget Whitney," she says. "I've had my eye on you." More bad kissing. Then we hear the telltale bone crunching. Clark pulls back and he's kissing Shapeshifta' Kissa! "I don't know how you found out about that money, Clark. But you should have stayed out of my life," she says. She pushes Clark (when did she get super-strength?) and throws him through the barn wall. He lands a ways down outside on the ground. She walks away as we go to commercial. And while we're on the subject, if her body is all full of kryptonite, why didn't X-Ray Boy get sick when he kissed her? Ah, consistency.

MamaKent and Bo Duke find X-Ray Boy in the barn. He fills them in on the super-strength and the shapeshifting. "Tina can turn into whoever she wants and I'm the only one that can tell the difference," Clark says. What, with your super-sloppy kisses?

The new, non-torched offices of The Torch. Wow, they must have had some grant money tucked away, because you would never know a fire raged through here just a week ago. Chloe seems oblivious to this weird tidbit herself. She's working away on an iBook. Lana approaches. "The girl who writes the pom-pom parade is out with mono," Chloe snarks. Lana needlessly compliments Chloe on her job steering the paper. Chloe apologizes for her snarky response earlier (I still don't like her, apology or not), and Lana continues buttering her biscuit with flattery. Lana is good at manipulation, because soon she's got Chloe digging up old copies of the paper looking for her mom's graduation speech. It's all very Nancy Drew, this investigation. Chloe discovers that the '77 prom theme was Saturday Night Fever. They also find that the graduation speech wasn't printed due to its "controversial nature." Bummer. Chloe offers to keep looking for a copy.

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Smallville

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