Karen and Michael are rehearsing that dreary front-porch song. Rebecca's costumes, hilariously, look like flour sacks on Karen. I saw the revival of West Side Story a few years ago with an understudy playing Maria, and none of her costumes fit either, but poor girl, they were too small. When she hit the high note in "Tonight" her bodice almost ruptured. But Karen's bodice is in no danger of that. Derek is bellowing about how she's screwing up the blocking, and Julia joins in that she sang the wrong lyric as well, then heads up to show Karen the correct one. Just then, all the lights go out. Poor beleaguered electricians.

Michael corners Julia onstage in the dark to say again that he only came to Boston because he thought Julia needed him. She says she knows, and he completely reverses direction from last week (which, let's remember, in the show is only two days ago) and says he won't pursue her. He explains that he told his wife about their sordid affair and she left him and took their adorkably named spawn with her to Seattle, where now he'll surely become a snowboarder who gives the theater kids wedgies.

Here's one thing I don't understand: They go to all the trouble of Marilyn's infinite platinum wigs but don't bother to tint Michael Swift's hair? He's dirty blond, and DiMaggio, you know, not so much. Come on, show. Of course, Shrek chooses this moment to wander into the theater and see Julia with her hand on Michael's arm. He stalks out and she chases after him, because we are all very, very interested in the state of the Houstons' marriage.