What's that? Yeah, Karen's performing at a bar mitzvah. I know, it totally makes sense. Actually, it's a gig that gets passed down from Ivy to Jessica to Karen, and Karen could use the money, even if the credit card bill she's freaking out over is hilariously miniscule in comparison to the other ensemble players. So Karen frazzles her way into the bar mitzvah, super late, forgets the words to "Hava Nagila," and obsessively checks her texts. But that doesn't mean she can't BRING IT and get the Jewish pre-teens of Long Island on their feet. And this is where I was sure that Smash was doing things to hurt me, because they have Karen do Florence + the Machine's "Shake It Out," which is only the song I'm living for at the moment, and I have to see Karen damn Cartwright throw it in my face. The rendition is fine, if truncated in that American Idol way, and a pale comparison to Florence, but the fuck-you comes when the bar mitzvah audience starts dancing in a semi-organized (if listless) manner, boredly shaking out their hands when Karen hits the chorus. And then she sings "here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road"?? Screw EVERYBODY in this scene!
It all works out for Karen, however, as she catches the attention of bar mitzvah attendee Bobby Raskin, whom Jessica later tells Karen is a Tommy Mottola type, not that Karen knows what any of those words mean. Oh, and when it gets back to Ivy that Karen too her hand-me-down gig and caught the eye of this big-shot music producer, is she ever pissed.
Back to Julia, she caves to Michael's relentless (and creepy, have I mentioned?) pressure and meets him at night at the rehearsal space, where they exchange lines of overwrought dialogue like, "I can't think if you touch me," and "I can't think if you don't." What did I ever do to you, Smash? What but want to love you? And that's all before Michael takes off Julia's top, and she stands there in sweats and no shirt for, like, ever, pretty much demanding that my mind wander to the logistics of keeping Debra Messings tiny boobs out of the camera's sight lines. I guess we're supposed to swoon when Michael also takes his shirt off, but his character has been too creepified to find attractive. So he kisses her and she's crying and this is not sexy even though I think it's maybe supposed to be? Like, the next day, Julia smiles at him as if she had a good (if guilty) time, even though she looked utterly miserable while it was happening.