Anyway, back with Julia, Tom is livid that Derek would prey on Ivy like that. Julia a) doesn't think it's that big of a deal, given that it's something of a reality in their business. Of course, she's also speaking from her own experience re: Michael, which she eventually tells Tom all about. Five years ago, when Michael was working on one of their shows, she had an affair with him. It was a "show crush," she explains, that grew into something more. We get a gauzy flashback to a moment on the Brooklyn Bridge when they kissed for the first time, and it's supposed to be romantic but it mostly seems implausible. The more important thing, however, is that Ellis overhears this entire conversation, and now he's got actual ammo to use against Julia. He's history's greatest monster.

Finally, poor Ivy doesn't want to be pushy with Derek -- after all, being pushy never worked for Marilyn! ...Y'all, do you think these people all realize that emulating Marilyn doesn't have great long-term prospects? Ivy manages to fall for an extreme line of bullshit from Derek about why he never takes her back to his place (he's so embarrassed that the gas in his apartment doesn't work??), and again, I am really at a loss as to why she likes him.

The episode-ending number sees Ivy and Michael recording a studio version of "Mr. and Mrs. Smith," intercut, as is the custom, with a vision of what the final production number will look like. The song is sweet and the staging is exaggeratedly old-fashioned, reminding me of some of the numbers in Catch Me If You Can. Michael is totally giving Julia the eyes as he sings, making her think of her awful family life as a boring "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" existence. Once again, I present Julia with the option to shake up her life by taking on Destroying Ellis as a personal side project.

Joe R is still dorkily excited whenever Ivy Lynn walks down his street. He can be reached for lavish praise and nothing but at joseph.reid21@gmail.com, and you can listen to him yammer on to his heart's content on the Extra Hot Great podcast.