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Enter Mr. DiMaggio

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Joe R: B | Grade It Now!
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The Outer Limits

Meantime, Tom and Julia are working on the Marilyn/DiMaggio song, a romantic little number called "Mr. and Mrs. Smith," all about how Marilyn and Joe apparently wanted nothing more than to have a normal American marriage away from their astronomical fame. Of course, Julia is so antsy about this Michael Swift thing (they end up having a fraught and awkward meeting at the studio) that she's thinking about ditching DiMaggio altogether (Tom basically laughs her off).

Later, Tom and Dennis have lunch at this cute little place with an outdoor patio, and Tom doesn't even realize that this is Dennis asking him out on a date. Wait, so they haven't had sex before? Because in the pilot it really looked like they'd had sex. Dennis then spills the beans about Derek and Ivy, telling Tom their ongoing relationship is "not actually a secret." Oh, but it is, and I think that Dennis knows it, and it bums me out that there's no reason for Dennis to say this about his best friend Ivy other than the fact that he's a Gossipy Queen. Again, much like with Ivy and Derek's relationship, I'd just like the show to give me a good reason. Tell me Dennis wants Tom to like him so much that he's using gossip about their shared friend to do it. That'd be believable, but it needs to exist on the screen and not just in my brain.

Anyway, back with Julia, Tom is livid that Derek would prey on Ivy like that. Julia a) doesn't think it's that big of a deal, given that it's something of a reality in their business. Of course, she's also speaking from her own experience re: Michael, which she eventually tells Tom all about. Five years ago, when Michael was working on one of their shows, she had an affair with him. It was a "show crush," she explains, that grew into something more. We get a gauzy flashback to a moment on the Brooklyn Bridge when they kissed for the first time, and it's supposed to be romantic but it mostly seems implausible. The more important thing, however, is that Ellis overhears this entire conversation, and now he's got actual ammo to use against Julia. He's history's greatest monster.

Finally, poor Ivy doesn't want to be pushy with Derek -- after all, being pushy never worked for Marilyn! ...Y'all, do you think these people all realize that emulating Marilyn doesn't have great long-term prospects? Ivy manages to fall for an extreme line of bullshit from Derek about why he never takes her back to his place (he's so embarrassed that the gas in his apartment doesn't work??), and again, I am really at a loss as to why she likes him.

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