Smash
Let's Be Bad

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Joe R: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Anything Goes

Previously: Director Derek bedded Ingénue Ivy, but his eye soon started to wander (not to mention that his default personality of "manipulative snake" began to re-emerge). Karen was cast in the ensemble, which really messed with Ivy's head. Michael Swift was cast as DiMaggio, which really messed with Julia's guilty conscience. And Tom went on a date with a mother-approved lawyer fellow.

Currently: As the episode title would suggest, this week we're working on a number called "Let's Be Bad," which appears to be letting vampy, self-destructive Marilyn out of her cage. Before rehearsals, Derek works with Karen on her dancing -- a bit of personal attention that should raise more eyebrows than it does, particularly since he's going all Black Swan on her about how she needs to be more seductive. (Also? HAND ON HER ASS!) Ivy is once again super jealous, which comes across as petulant, even though her supposed boyfriend pawing all over the chorus girl he cast after Ivy barely beat her out for the lead actually DOES make her feelings justified.

Meantime, Tom is busy finding tiny flaws with Lawyer John (he tells Julia that he says "wow" a lot). They end up having a boring gay dinner date -- come on, Smash, where are all the POPPERS I hear are all the rage with gay men? Tom begs off a clear sex invitation, and it's about to get totally awkward when Tom gets a call from Leo (Julia's baby-crazed teenage son), who's been arrested for smoking pot in public. Or at least being adjacent to friends who were smoking pot in public. John accompanies Tom to the station and does that lawyer thing you always see on TV, where he badgers the cops about rights violations until they are forced to set his client free. Tom finally seems impressed with his man, but back at home, Julia is less than impressed with her delinquent son. After she sends him upstairs, Tom goes all Real Talk on her, saying the real reason she's pissed is that while Leo was getting processed at the station, Julia was on a non-date with Michael to "talk about script revisions" at the Westway Diner (Hey! I can see my Duane Reade out the front window! The really insanely tiny one that's nearly useless!).

Not a lot of Eileen or Ellis this week, so let's knock them out right here: Eileen loses a lawyer to Jerry, which annoys her. Later, Ellis helps her with computer problems. That's seriously it!

Back at rehearsal, Tom gets sneak-attacked by Straight Sam (talkin' sports!) and kind of cold-shoulders him, while Derek plots how he's going to fuck with his leading lady's head today. Specifically, he harps on her about not getting Marilyn's cooing vibrato correct, so he puts Karen on the spot and makes her sing "Happy Birthday, Mr. President" for the entire class, a move which Karen later correctly interprets as a power play in response to her cock-teasing of him in Episode 1. It's the rare asshole move that manages to stick it to both women at once.

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