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Episode Report Card
Sara Brady: C | 92 USERS: B-
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I Won't Quit Till I'm a Star

In her office, Eileen is meeting with Derek, Julia and Tom, telling them Michael Swift wants out of his contract. Everyone is more than okay with that. Hope there's room for you in that improvisational, audience-participation Justin Bieber tribute at La MaMa, Michael! Eileen wants to talk about the reviews next, which Julia declares that she never reads. Derek doesn't believe her, but Tom backs her up. She says she just has to look at Tom's face to know what they said. Derek asks if Tom's mug can tell her exactly what the critics focused on: Derek, the cast, etc. Julia insists that she watched the show from the audience for three weeks, so she knows there are problems that need fixing.

Eileen wants to book the St. James, where Oklahoma! and The King and I and The Producers all played (and it's presently home to Manilow on Broadway!). Julia and Tom swoon about the venue's history while Derek says pragmatically that if they don't get a theater, he has other jobs waiting to hear about his availability. Eileen tells him not to worry his spiky little head about it; his job is keeping Karen happy, because everyone in New York is talking about her and wants to know if she's as good as they've heard. Derek enthusiastically says she is, to which Tom replies that they all knows where he stands (behind Karen and not wearing pants would be Derek's preference). Derek starts reading one review -- from a newspaper! A physical one! That is so cute -- out loud while Julia dramatically leaves the room. Derek asks Tom to handle the Ivy problem and quickly, then swans out, saying, "Call me when you have a reason to." I've missed that arrogant jackass. Yes, I'm cutting him more slack than I will ever give Karen. Yes, it's partly internalized sexism. Let's move on.

Karen thanks her new roommate, Ana, for letting her move in. Tonight Derek is introducing her to Veronica Moore, which makes Ana super jealous, but in a nice way.

Ivy and Sam (hi Sam! I missed you too!) are sitting at those tables in the middle of Times Square while she bitches about how her agent hasn't gotten a call about her contract, but he has for all his other clients in Bombshell. Sam tries to placate her, because what has not changed over the hiatus is that Sam is the soothing balm poured over this show to make everyone not lose their very last shred of patience. I hope he gets more to do this year. She wonders what she can do and Sam says besides being on her best behavior, she just needs to find a way to stay with the show and get back on the way to becoming the star she was meant to be. "What is a star, anyway?" Ivy muses. "Do they even still exist?" (One gave birth to you, you lunatic!)

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