Smash
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Sara Brady: B | Grade It Now!
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Prelude to a Flop

Previously on Smash: Rebecca hit on Derek and it worked; Dev asked Karen to marry him; Replacement DiMaggio dropped out of the show, making Julia freak out because she finds Original DiMaggio's Louisville Slugger impossible to resist; Dev and Ivy met in a bar and decided to take out their mutual frustration with their significant others on each other's sex parts.

Dev wakes up in Ivy's hotel room, next to Ivy. Ivy's still asleep and they are wearing only a thin coating of shame.

At the theater, Girl Dancer Jessica seemingly doesn't believe Karen when she says Derek and Rebecca are banging (she heard it from Ivy). He calls out a good morning and Karen begins unspooling her Dev sob story. Jessica asks Karen to call Ivy, who hasn't showed up for rehearsal yet. "She was really drunk last night and she has no room to make mistakes after what happened in Heaven on Earth," Jessica expositions in the flattest tone possible.

Back in Ivy's room, a Blackberry rings on the floor and Dev picks it up. The screen is displaying "Karen cell." Ivy grabs it out of his hand before we get a truly awesome scene -- boo! -- because it's her Blackberry, not his. Jessica asks where Ivy is and Ivy says she'll be there soon. She hangs up and she and Dev agree not to tell anyone about the shameful intimate squelching.

Outside the theater, Dull Leo is giving his mother a pep talk. Boy Dancer Bobby greets Julia with his signature blend of self-satisfied smarm. I really do not care for Bobby. Shrek says he and Dull Leo will accompany Julia TO WORK if she finds it too intimidating to go by herself LIKE AN ADULT. And also because now the two of them have the keys to her chastity belt so she needs them both to attend her in the ladies' room. She says she's fine, but just then her co-adulterer alights from his town car. Julia stares at him impassively and Shrek manages to restrain his natural ogre impulse to smash Michael's pretty face. Michael heads into the theater and Dull Leo smirks, "Am I the only one who enjoyed that?" Oh, I so want him to go wandering in Riverside Park one night and end up with Olivia Benson making her Concerned Face over his mutilated body. Shrek asks again if Julia will be okay and she says she will as soon as she kills Tom. Because what this show needs is to lose its best gentleman singer and one of its most likeable characters.

Eileen is on the phone about some late costumes. She greets Julia, who then sits next to Tom and informs him she's not speaking with him. God, she is such a professional. Michael Swift is several rows down, wearing a hoodie and looking younger than Dull Leo, peering craftily over his shoulder at Julia as he ponders how to abscond with her undercrackers.

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Smash

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