Previously on Smash: Rebecca Duvall joined the musical and was terrible at musical-ing. Derek kept hallucinating that Karen was Marilyn. Tom and Sam went on a date, but Sam basically called Tom a big commitmentphobic ho-bag. Karen and Dev fought about Dev's job and the Shrek family bemoaned Dull Leo's dullness.
At the rehearsal hall, Derek has called Karen in early. He apologizes for not working with her more and she explains (for us and not Derek, because this is his job) that it will actually be Stage Manager Linda's job to work with the understudies to ensure that they're ready to go on if they need to. "Which I'm sure I won't," Karen finishes. (Don't be so sure, honey. That's how we got Shirley MacLaine.) They don't notice when Ellis comes in behind them. Derek husks that Karen would make a brilliant Marilyn and the Soft Piano of Derek Losing His Mind starts up as he says, "I see it, you know? In my head." And then the rest of the company arrives -- including Ivy, who does some world-class glaring in this episode. The push-pull between Ivy and Karen would all be so much more compelling if Karen didn't have all the personality and sex appeal of a Zwieback cracker.
Rebecca's assistants, Randall and Cuba Libre, enter bitching about how Rebecca's coming directly from the gym. Because everyone loves a movie star who smells like a sweat sock! Ellis approaches and says he needs to talk with Randall, who, if you'll remember, he recently offended mightily. Randall sends Cuba Libre to inform Linda that Rebecca will be late, although at this point we should just assume she's running on Movie Star Time. Ellis pulls him outside, saying he's heard something Rebecca needs to know. And apparently he didn't overhear everyone I know seething, "We HATE YOU, Ellis."
Rehearsal. Replacement DiMaggio, whose name is Ted and who -- although he looks nothing like the actual DiMaggio -- appears as if he could actually swing a baseball bat (ROWR, replacement DiMaggio!) is running through "Lexington and 52nd Street" (which I just now realize is the intersection where that scene from The Seven Year Itch was filmed. You nerds know the one). Tom asks Derek if he wants to go over any of the other not-Marilyn numbers while they wait, but Rebecca has actually arrived. You can see how they would have missed it, because Randall was off fiddling with Ellis and neglected the cymbal crash that heralds Rebecca's every appearance. Derek wants to start with "Mr. and Mrs. Smith," but Rebecca doesn't like that idea. She wants Julia to rewrite "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" -- which means "get rid of all the horrible music and let me EMOTE!"