Episode Report Card
Sara Brady: B | Grade It Now!
Public Enemies

Julia is staking out Dull Leo's school and she snags Mason, whose hairline indicates that he's about 35 and tells him if she doesn't spill his guts she'll make his life a living hell. The best part is when she enunciates, very clearly, "I'M FAMOUS" and says she'll use her famousness to get him blackballed from Choate or something. Mason doesn't buy it and Julia takes off her giant sunglasses and tearily begs, "Where is he?" Sleeping on Mason's floor, like I told you. Julia just wants to know if he's okay and Mason, wise in perfect proportion to his advanced years, observes that if he was okay, Leo wouldn't have run away, like, eight blocks.

Back at the Brownstone of Duplicity, Shrek says he's going to kill Leo and Mason, and Mason's mom, who I guess hasn't noticed that all the Annie's Organic Hot Pockets in her house have gone missing. Julia tries to calm him down and eventually convinces Shrek not to storm the barricades of Mason's House and instead give Dull Leo some room. They hug and will probably reconcile and we'll have to endure more of a Tony nominee singing along with Guitar Hero in his jammies.

At rehearsal, Rebecca asks Ellis to make her and Karen smoothies while she runs out for chips. Ivy snarks about how Karen has become Rebecca's mini-me. As Ellis grinds flaxseeds, Ivy asks him to do something for her. He says he'll do anything and you know he's hoping she'll ask him to scalp Karen in her sleep or maybe seduce Derek.

Ivy's devious mission: Ellis asks some girl to borrow her phone. Derek calls rehearsal back to order and asks where Rebecca is. Ivy reports that she went out for potato chips. Ellis texts Karen on that girl's phone that she doesn't need to come back because of Julia's "flu." Karen goes home. Derek confronts Rebecca in the lobby about being late coming back from break and he breaks a paparazzo's camera in fine Sean Penn style, then yells in Rebecca's face that he's not about to let a childish movie star ruin his huge Broadway hit. From the way she's wide-eyed and giggling, Rebecca is completely turned on by alpha Derek. She does not, alas, molest him in the elevator.

Derek bellows to the company that they are finally ready to start working on "Secondhand White Baby Grand" and hollers, "Where is Karen Cartwright?!" Rebecca informs him that Karen went home. He calls Ivy up to do the song, saying, "It's yours. You okay with that, Tom?" Tom's all, I have been Team Ivy since before you got her bra off, broseph.

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