Smash
Publicity

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Sara Brady: B | Grade It Now!
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Public Enemies

At home in the Well-Appointed Kitchen of Recrimination, Shrek is slicing zucchini and Julia is surfing swingers' websites (well, a recapper can dream) when Dull Leo walks in and vomits up a bunch of bullshit about how his family is all ruined and he's sad. Maybe I have no sympathy for Dull Leo's emotional upheavals because everyone I know who's a child of divorce has handled it by acting out in totally acceptable ways, like slamming doors and having promiscuous sex accompanied by trust issues, or maybe -- no, it's definitely because Dull Leo is the worst. I think he might be worse than Ellis, because he has no purpose in the narrative other than to not sing songs or be interesting.

As there are six minutes left in the episode, it's time for some musical content directly related to Bombshell. Lee Strasberg tells Marilyn to remember and use who she is in her soul to make herself a great actress. Ivy begins singing "Secondhand White Baby Grand," and every time someone has said the name of the song in this episode I've heard "Secondhand White Baby Granny," and thought there was some sort of my-sister-my-daughter thing going on in Marilyn's backstory that Wikipedia left out. (Surely Joyce Carol Oates would've been all over that if it had actually happened.)

As Ivy sings, we get quick clips of Shrek and Dull Leo embracing over a plate of pasta, Karen not saying goodbye to Dev as she leaves the apartment, Sam kissing Tom hesitantly and Nick and Eileen all afterglowy in bed. The last lyric is "I still have something beautiful to give," and Derek is looking at Ivy as she sings like he's finally happy. Eileen's even crying a little. Derek takes Ivy's hands and kisses them as he says, "Thank you, Miss Lynn. That was glorious." It was! And then Rebecca pipes up: "I think Marilyn should sing that song." And everyone in the room looks like they've been poisoned.

Next week on Smash: They're out of the rehearsal room and into the theater. Eileen wants to bring back Not Adam Pascal. Dev wants to marry Karen. Derek is kissing REBECCA?! Ah! Just when I thought I was out!

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