Smash
Tech

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Sara Brady: C | Grade It Now!
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Technical Difficulties

In her hotel room, Karen wakes when her phone rings. It's Dev, who says he was thinking of her and wants to come up and visit this weekend. She makes excuses about having a roommate and that she's so busy, and while, yes, twelve-hour workdays don't leave a lot of time for canoodling, there is some clear avoidance going on, and Karen is going to drive Dev right into RJ's job-wielding arms! Not that I believe that it's her fault if he cheats on her, blah blah feminist disclaimer. Clearly their relationship is fucked beyond what a weekend trip to Boston can fix. I think part of the problem might be how many framed photographs of the two of them they have being smoochy. Seriously, there are thousands.

At the theater, Derek is micromanaging to the point of saying that one piece of furniture is too heavy and needs "smart casters." Tom is like, sure, whatever, about my new song for Karen and Ivy. Derek says they'd agreed the shadow selves wouldn't sing, which, when did they do that? That's a terrible idea. Tom barrels on, saying the song is all done, it's one that was cut from Heaven on Earth, but Derek is all, what part of "there will be an audience in those seats day after tomorrow" do you not understand? Tom asks Derek to please be nice, and they're just about to have at it -- or maybe make out -- when Replacement DiMaggio rushes in to say that he's been offered a TV pilot and has to go film in Las Vegas so he can't be their Replacement DiMaggio anymore. Derek starts to get all riled up as Replacement DiMaggio wisely scampers out of bludgeoning range.

Derek hollers for Linda to find out if Not Adam Pascal is available, to which Tom is all, um, about that. Derek says he knows about Michael and Julia, that he's not an idiot, he's just discreet. Except for that time the cast member he was sleeping with yelled about how he was bad in bed in front of the entire company, but that was like six weeks ago, so who remembers.

In Rebecca's dressing room, Karen is trying on a Marilyn wig and doing the very famous "Diamonds -- they must be worth their weight in gold" line from Some Like It Hot. Rebecca confesses that she's nervous, and Karen asks why, because Karen is a dumb-dumb who hasn't realized that her new BFF is doing something insanely difficult and risky that will open her up to boatloads of criticism and if she's unlucky make her a Tony awards punch line for the rest of time. Rebecca says that when she was younger she used to think that one day she'd reach a point where the fear would stop, but she never got there. "Great," Karen says, and hopefully this has dashed all her tiny little dreams and she'll go back to Iowa already.

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