Eileen and Nick's troubles with the government have put Bombshell on ice for now, so her big plan is to muscle her way into an American Theatre Wing gala, where Karen will sing and Eileen will try to resurrect the show's reputation in front of everyone who's everyone in New York theater. But the organizers disinvite her, so after Tom convinces Julia to stop moping over her failed marriage, they crash the party with Eileen, then haul in Derek and Ivy so they can put on a little show. It's all very intrusive and what Saturday nights at Anne Hathaway's house must be like.
Karen is still infatuated with the songs of bartender-slash-composer Jimmy, but she's totally not interested in him, no, of course not. So she wrangles some music out of his lyricist partner, Kyle, as well as an invitation to a party at their place. And of course Karen makes a mess of everything by singing Jimmy's song to him in the middle of the party. He gets furious and insults everyone, but eventually, after Kyle gives him the I Am the Only One Sacrificing for This Friendship and You Owe Me a Solid speech, he makes nice and gives Karen some songs, which she shows to Derek.
Derek. His lady troubles are multiplying exponentially; now there are six dancers accusing him of sexual harassment, and after he hits on a woman in Jimmy's bar, her boyfriend punches him and Derek hallucinates that Ivy and Karen are singing the Eurythmics to him. He gets plastered and slurs his feelings all over Ivy, who puts him back together because she is a champ. Does he appreciate it? He does not.
Although he does, at least, tell Ivy not to quit the business, which she was considering after she and Sam ran into an old costar, who's quit acting and now has a stationery shop and a guesthouse. But Derek reassures her that she's special and talented and she shouldn't quit. But he still picks Karen over her, because he is a dumb-dumb.
Karen sits on the steps in front of Table 46 -- the bar where Jimmy works -- waiting for him. He arrives and asks what she's doing there. She wants to know why he didn't return any of her calls. He says girls usually call to yell at him. She wants to talk about his music and would like to hear more, but he says there's nothing to hear. She asks if Kyle was lying when he said it was part of a whole musical, and Jimmy's being very chill while Karen basically interrogates him as if she has a right to his time.
He calls her on it and asks if she's always so uptight and clenchy, then says his shift is over soon if she wants to hang out. She does not, and cannot believe that someone without a starring Broadway role to offer her would importune her with such an indiscreet proposition! She stalks off and Kyle comes outside, asking if that was Karen Cartwright. Jimmy says he has no idea, which is how you know he's the straight one in this partnership.
Kyle says Karen's a big deal and can help them, but Jimmy insists they're going to do it on their own. Karen's calling Derek to tell him that the thing she thought was something didn't work out when Kyle catches up with her to apologize for Jimmy's behavior. He says Jimmy is really protective of his work, and Karen says she wanted to play it for Derek, which makes Kyle's eyes light up with dollar signs. He asks her to meet him after his shift.
Eileen gets out of a Town Car, hollering into her phone about how she knows no one is getting paid and she's sorry but she hopes to straighten everything out soon. She goes into the Brill Building, where Derek is proclaiming it a miracle that he was able to get any work done at all while Tom and Julia were writing and rewriting causing "a circus," as he calls it, which amuses Tom, since Derek was the one with a clown car full of Marilyns.
Eileen tells them to stop squabbling like toddlers, so Derek turns his pique on her, asking if she didn't think it was funny that a bartender who doesn't look like he has a checkbook had millions of dollars in cash available to bankroll a Broadway musical. Eileen is not in a mood to put up with any of Derek's shit since she just got a full-body audit from the feds, but everything is now in order. She says they're still alive, and Karen is performing for an American Theatre Wing gala tonight in front of everybody's who's anybody, so that will keep the show front and center in theater people's minds. She asks them not to take any other jobs just yet.
Derek says he can't make her any guarantees, but Tom is amused by the idea that Derek has any offers after his recent tour through Page Six. Derek snits back that he does, and it's so nice to see these two slapfighting with each other again like ballerinas wrestling over a celery stick. Eileen boots them out of her office and Tom says he and Julia are there for her no matter what, although Derek observes that Julia has missed three meetings in a row. Tom protests that she had a college thing with Dull Leo. I hope she's sending him to the Citadel.
Ivy and Sam talk about how he's going on tour with Book of Mormon while she can't even book an eHarmony commercial (come on, Ivy, you're not nearly frumpy and sad enough to be an eHarmony beard!). Sam tells her to bug her agent and says, "At least you're not Lisa McCann" -- whom they're about to run into. They try to hide in plain sight as Ivy mutters, "I cannot face that woman. She's been plugging away longer than I have." Lisa, of course, sees them because they have not managed to make themselves invisible through sheer force of will, and squeals their names. Everyone hugs and they reminisce about working a crappy Shakespeare festival in the Adirondacks oh so many moons ago. Lisa tells them she's working in stationery now and shows them a picture of her guesthouse on her phone. Sam and Ivy manage not to choke on their suppressed rage, because they are professionals.
Derek meets with his "second-favorite agent in the world" and asks about news on The Wiz. She says Ronnie remains a fan and fought hard for him with the producers, but they're letting him go. Derek is shocked and outraged that he'd lose a job just because he slept with some actresses, but his agent says five dancers are also coming forward to accuse him of sexual harassment. Derek looks legit bewildered.
Jerry comes into Eileen's office and holds up a copy of the Observer, with a terrible editorial cartoon of Eileen. "Looks nothing like you," he laughs. He is such a dick. Eileen says she's in a tight spot and he owes her, so she wants his table at the American Theatre Wing gala because she's suddenly not on the guest list. "So, you want to be my date," Jerry says. Eileen would rather peel her face off like she did in The Witches; she says it will be just her and the creative team, even though -- as Jerry points out -- Julia is a mess and Derek just got shitcanned for being a dog. Eileen swans out. She does that so well.
Derek and Tom get calls from Eileen summoning them and Julia, who Tom says is meeting with her realtor, to the Plaza for the gala. "Tom, tell Julia it's cocktail attire," Eileen says coolly and she's so classy for not specifying, "So she better not show up looking like the misbegotten spawn of Stevie Nicks and a week-old slush pile." Tom pulls up the blinds, revealing that Julia is huddled under the duvet on the pullout sofa, all tangled hair and puffy eyes. Tom, you are such a hero.
Julia is refusing to get off Tom's sofa, but he says some fresh air will do her good. She protests that she's already gotten some air today -- she met Dull Leo in Riverside Park. In her pajamas. Tom is ready to call the Bombshell hair and makeup department and some Teamsters to physically haul her out of bed and try to make her look less like a wet dishrag, but Julia protests that Shrek has told everyone in their families about her infidelity, so every time she checks her email there's someone else calling her a whore, and she can't bear going out in public where more people will be judging her. Tom's like, time for work, sack up. He says none of her family will be there tonight, but she says industry people are even worse. Eh, I'm sure they've seen juicier scandals. There isn't even a secret baby or a mistress thrown down an elevator shaft or anyone getting a whole tub of Ben Nye stage blood hurled in their face.
Julia begs Tom, as her friend, for the night off. He says he'll tell Eileen she's sick and be there for the both of them. She promises she'll get up and wash her face soon. Oy. There is a thin line between best friend and enabler of sloth, Tom. Just hide all the wine and she'll emerge soon enough.
Karen meets with Kyle in Times Square (why is it always Times Square? We believe you're shooting in New York show, without you pretending that people other than the homeless willingly sit at those grubby, pigeon shit-covered tables and breathe taxi exhaust while they eat their lunches) and he hands her a bunch of menus from the bar covered in scribbled lyrics. She's all, why is this not perfect and professionally bound and deserving of my rarefied and discriminating attention?
Kyle says Jimmy doesn't really write things down except when he's drunk, but the lyrics on the cocktail menu are amazing. He says most of the songs are written and there really is a musical, he swears. Karen asks if Jimmy knows he's meeting with her and then launches into the Epic Tale of Poor Karen's Day, first with an audition for a Clearasil commercial and then with her invitation to sing at the gala getting canceled, so she's not really in the mood to listen to anyone else. Kyle begs her to get someone to play their songs for her (although it didn't look like there were any actual notes on those pages), and if she likes what she hears, to come to their place tonight and maybe Jimmy will play her something.
Julia's cocoon of sloth on Tom's couch. The buzzer rings and she calls for whoever it is to leave th