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The Movie Star

Episode Report Card
Sara Brady: B- | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Rebecca Duvall Superstar

At Tom's, Rebecca still hasn't shown. Derek is pacing while Eileen kills the bottle of wine and Tom recaps his date with Sam to Julia. Tom sighs, "He believes in God." He unpacks how Sam called him on all his bullshit, and how Sam said Tom is afraid of intimacy and commitment, and Julia's like, I've said that to you every single day that I've known you. Oh, Julia, on this day you are an exemplary fruit fly.

Rebecca finally shows, and everyone pounds their drinks. Derek starts to ease into how they appreciate Rebecca's suggestions but they're keeping the show a musical, to which she, surprisingly, agrees, saying, "I get it, it's a musical. People want to hear a bunch of songs!" Tom pastes on his most diplomatic look as he starts in with "About the songs..." and Rebecca cuts him off, saying that she's willing to accept criticism. And she actually has some meaningful suggestions, like lowering the key, and cutting down on her solos. She confesses that she can't handle the big Actors Studio ballad, "Dig Deep," and that she's thinking of hiring a vocal coach. Tom all but prostrates himself on the floor and thanks Jesus.

Karen and Ivy are at a dive, having shots and trading barbs about how well they each know the songs and blocking. It's basically a lady wang-measuring contest, which Ivy wins with "I'm sleeping with the director," although Karen almost tops her with "I'm still the understudy." Ivy throws down all her cards and says, "When Rebecca Duvall goes down, everything's up for grabs. You're going to have to pry that part out of my cold, dead hands." They toss back their shots. My money is on Ivy. She asks why Dev hasn't shown up, and Karen explains how he's having trouble at work, and Ivy intuits that someone else (who's "probably really hot") is letting Dev cry on her shoulder. Karen stalks out, because she's a giant baby with hurt fee-fees.

Julia and Shrek are having a grades intervention with Dull Leo. Leo is the worst. He's like, why should I try hard in school, so I can go to college and get married and she can be a whore who cheats on me, MOM?! No, Leo, you're a New Yorker and with that haircut, you're destined to die alone in a ferret-filled loft in Greenpoint. And then he tries to secure a promise that if he gets a B on his calculus exam he gets to meet Rebecca Duvall. Julia says "B-plus and we'll talk," and my watching partners holler about what terrible parents Julia and Shrek are, giving in to Leo's demands just for a B+. That's an Asian F!

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