Previously on Smash: The most important thing is, obviously, that Tom and Lin-Manuel Miranda are lifelong enemies. Imagine how great that storyline could've been. Instead we got... oh, pick one angry-making element of this season: Kyle's retconning as a genius book writer, Daisy's blackmail, Julia and Peter not having sex all over the Hamptons, the social media-izing of Hit List. Blarg. Oh, and we're also reminded that Derek once told Karen, "New musicals take years to develop." Sure they do, Derek. Suuuuuure.
Ivy wakes up singing "Feelin' Alright" by Joe Cocker, contemplating her newly be-fetused belly. At Karen and Ana's, Ana sulks over audition notices. In Eileen's office, Agnes Rubin-Vega runs in with the great news that Bombshell scored ten Outer Critics Circle nomination. Eileen trumps her with Hit List's eleven.
All done up in her Marilyn finest, Ivy is camped out in the loo, puking up her guts, because Derek's Satanic spawn is obviously not compatible with human life. Bobby, Jessica and the other dancers exchange significant looks when she manages to peel herself off the bathroom floor and take her curtain call.
At Hit List, Daisy greets her adoring public alongside Karen. At Bombshell, Tom bitches about how the Outer Critics Circle makes you refresh their website a billion times to see if you've won, and he's afraid not winning will affect his Tony chances. Eileen's all, HEARD IT. Agnes drags them back inside to watch a show called The Gathering Storm -- which appears to be about slavery, that ever-glamorous subject for a Broadway musical -- because it's important that Tony voters see them supporting the competition. Midshow, Tom pulls out his phone and starts checking the OCC website again. And I'm sorry, but now I want to have Tom boiled alive in oil. Turning one's cell phone on during live theater is evil. PURE EVIL.
Tom drops his phone on the foot of the man sitting behind him, who turns out to be the adorable Luke Macfarlane from Brothers & Sisters. Luke quite rightly asks Tom if they had theaters in the pack of wolves that raised him. See, this is why Patti LuPone never guest starred. Tom picks up the phone and brags that not only has he been in a theater before, but he also just won an award! I want nothing more than for everyone in the orchestra to beat Tom to death with their own POLITELY SILENCED PORTABLE COMMUNICATION DEVICES. Unfortunately, just then braggy asshole Tom recognizes Luke, which means he's definitely a Tony voter.