Smash
The Song

Episode Report Card
Sara Brady: C | 5 USERS: C-
YOU GRADE IT
Let Go Already

Jerry comes into Eileen's office to ask if she's ready for her deposition and gives her advice. He actually tells her she doesn't need to be nervous, as if Eileen has ever had a single nerve in her life. It's remarkable -- and doesn't seem botulism-aided -- how Anjelica Huston's eyebrows never move in this scene; they're just frozen with sheer disdain. Jerry tries to sell her on the strategy of saying she was duped by Nick and had no idea where the money was coming from, but Eileen doesn't want to present herself as a victim. And as long as Nick is missing, the federal prosecutors can't verify anything. Maybe? I would not trust this show on legalisms.

Peter thanks Julia for coming to his class. She is wearing comically enormous cat-eye glasses -- like, I am concerned they will eat her face. (Wait, not concerned. Hopeful.) She starts telling him what she's planning to say to the class when he tells her she's not there to speak; she's there to watch his students perform her show. Ooooh. The hate is alive. Julia is incensed, but Peter says the students don't know she wrote it and he's changed all the names, so this is a good opportunity for her to see it in a fresh way. Julia grudgingly sits down as the kids start.

Dance rehearsal. Ivy arrives and when Derek asks why she's there, she says Tom called and mentioned he was missing a dancer. Ronnie greets her and Karen asks how she knows Ivy (oh my god, why is Karen always everywhere?). They were in Little Shop of Horrors together. And just to make everything really fun, Kyle and Jimmy show up, too, skulking in from backstage like the grubby urchins they are. Kyle is starstruck by Ronnie, who congratulates Ivy on her role in Liaisons!

Derek asks Jimmy and Kyle what they're doing there and Jimmy says he heard they needed a song. Tom says he went through his and Julia's back catalog looking for "raw," but Derek isn't sold on anything. He asks the Brothers Filth what they have, but Tom interrupts and says he's the musical director on this show, so he gets to approve the songs. Derek overrules him and tells Kyle and Jimmy they have six hours to come up with something. Well, that was a quick and pointless dick-measuring contest.

Cynthia comes out from backstage to tell Derek she has closed the deal. Derek announces to the company that Bravo will be filming the concert, which is tomorrow, apparently, so they'll be performing in front of potentially millions, rather than a few thousand. Kyle thinks this means there's no way they'll get a song in, but Karen tells them the right song will get them noticed -- and famous. Dear god, I hate Karen and her stupid face and her lifeless line readings so, so much. I would drop a goddamn lighting rig on her head if I could. I blame you for this and so much else, Spielberg.

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