So You Think You Can Dance
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Monty Ashley: F | Grade It Now!
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It's Make-Your-Mind-Up Time!

More solos! Jess has a fedora and insists on coming out to "Mr. Bojangles" by Robbie Williams. He Broadways all over the stage. He's not wearing that fedora right, although I quite liked the part where he told the audience to hush while they were counting down the countdown. Miranda does a flip and some leg-waving, and this is one of the solos that does at least feel like dancing. But I'm getting pretty sick of those leg extensions, which every girl insists on doing at least four times per solo. Robert is last, and he's got a yellow fringey shirt that I'm 90% sure is a Hulkamania shirt turned inside out. He ends with some Michael Jackson moves. Mary and Megan are conferring about something very seriously. Hey, didn't Robert say he was a fan of Pro Wrestling? That might really be a Hulkamania shirt! And the "Woo!" might be a Ric Flair reference! Or I might be reaching.

Cat reminds us of Lady Gaga making her television debut on SYTYCD Season 4. She's done pretty well for herself since then, and she has agreed to be a guest judge later in the season. Oh, lordy. And now, here's a video!

Oh, it's the video for "The Edge of Glory," is it? I love this song! Which is good, because ever since my satellite radio changed its channel lineup, the only thing I know how to find is the channel that plays this and "Running in the Deep" back-to-back all day. The video starts with some red-glowing fog, much like the opening scene on the seminal Australian monster movie Razorback. Then there are some people standing around in a city set. Lady Gaga's studded leather vest doesn't fit perfectly. At one point, she points to Clarence Clemons as though to say, "Look! Clarence Clemons!" I've heard this song about a hundred times, but I don't know what it's about. The video doesn't help. And after about two-thirds of the song, someone in the production booth gets bored, so they cut to commercial. That was a little harsh. I don't think we even got Clarence's sax solo!

Judging time! Nigel tells us about Clarence's stroke, which we're all very sad about. Although I am distracted by the way Nigel pronounced "saxophonist." And then... Nigel asks for Mitchell and Robert to dance again while everyone else stands in the wings. What the hell, Nigel.

Cat seems thrown, but she makes sure that Robert's got some music ready. He dances to the same music as before but has a new set of moves. I like to see that. The kid's quick, I'll give him that. Then it's Mitchell's turn, and he's got that John Mayer song again. He's very good, although I kind of feel like he's just filling out his time with some extra spins.

Cat asks Nigel if he'd like to deal with the girls first, and he accepts that. Jordan steps forward so Nigel can tell her she's strong, controlled, and beautiful. She's "one of the best we've seen, across the ages." The ages? He means the eight seasons, right? Clarice has "a smile that would melt an ice cube," which technically means it could be just barely above freezing. Do you think Nigel knows that it's not particularly hard to melt an ice cube? It's practically summer around here; you just have to leave them alone and they'll melt, no problem. Nigel says that she, too, is a magnificent dancer. Miranda has her elevation praised, and Nigel whines about how hard it is to cut someone. So he won't do it right away. And he says it's Megan's fault! Because obviously you want to blame your guest celebrity for your inability to run a smooth show. Then he calls the guys up and gets mad when they're not all out there right away. Cat says, with some impatience, "It's make-your-mind-up time, Nigel." It is! Nigel has to tell Jess that he's magnificent. And Tadd is "really creative" and Robert has a "wonderfully big personality which will keep you here for awhile."

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So You Think You Can Dance

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