So You Think You Can Dance
Auditions #1: New York

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Auditions #1: New York

Opening scenes with a bunch of clips from last year, I presume. 69 million votes? That's like everyone in Canada voting twice and still adding millions more. We watch a bunch of highlights, which are all new to me. They include a guy who does a flip and moves his legs like he's walking whilst doing so. Is it always like this? Because that, frankly, was pretty cool. And we're promised that this year is going to be even sexier, with more talent. Beats "this year, it's going to be dowdier with a bunch of stiffs" for generating excitement about your show, I suppose. This is when, with the backing of the ridiculously amazing Go! Team, we segue into clips from the upcoming season. I think I may be hallucinating, because it couldn't possibly have been the case that some dancer pretends to give birth to a teddy bear. And then there's some guy with red glasses who argues with Nigel, and makes me worry that this show, like its older brother American Idol, sometimes has semi-retarded people on and pretends they're not for the purposes of mocking them.

Many clips of the audition cities, Chicago, Los Angeles, Atlanta, Whitehorse, Yukon, and requisite enthusiastic people mugging for camera time by backflipping and the like. We're going to start in New York, which is, says Cat, the "dance capital of the world." Someone gives Cat Deeley a little dip. Some guy in a red leotard twirls and rams into a wall plastered with 300 posters.

Cat explains how this show works, which is of benefit to anyone who's never watched a reality show before. Apparently this involves culling a large audition group into a top 20 and then systematically eliminating dancers until we're left with the best one. Huh. Interesting strategy!.

Mary and Nigel are joined in New York by hip-hop/pop choreographer Dan Karaty, and Nigel hits on Mary as they take their seats for the first audition.

We meet "Dancing Derrick," who earned the cryptic nickname because he likes to dance. Please, tell us more! Cat Deeley has trouble remembering Derrick's name, even though it's written on his shirt. He looks like a young Donny from that old X-Files episode. Derrick says, "Yo, what it be, what it be," for some reason. Cat, who is relentlessly perky and breathless, brightly tells us he's got "endurance." Derrick dances to that "I Like to Move It" song. It's a lot of spastic hopping, like he thinks he's auditioning for So You Think You Should Be In An 'A Night at the Roxbury' Sketch. He basically collapses after just one minute; so much for his claims of "endurance." Derrick is all flop sweat afterwards, but he proclaims, "Dancing is my life," barely able to gasp the words out, and blames the song choice. He tries to adjust future excuses to what the judges say, but it's goodbye to Derrick, at least on-stage. Off-stage we see him actually being given OXYGEN from a paramedic, and we leave on a cliffhanger note, wondering if Derrick fucking LIVED or not.

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So You Think You Can Dance

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