Day two of auditions in Phoenix sets us up for crazy freak auditions, like a guy with a bunch of busted-up yellow Chiclets for teeth and the girl who can kick herself in the head. Super-hyper auditionee Jarvis Johnson, 18, of Phoenix says he's very excited all the time, because if he's down and someone else is down, then they're just two down people. HOWEVER. If someone else is down, and he's up, then maybe he brings them up! He seems to be unaware of the possibility of pissing someone off with his ridiculous floor-rolling and bannister-riding, but he seems likeable enough. He takes the stage with a flurry of "woo!"s and launches into a high-energy routine that features him bending backward at the knees down all the way to the floor and back up again. He doesn't so much dance as vibrate right out of his shoes, and it's not without its charm, but he certainly runs out of steam by the end.
"You are a dancing fool!" proclaims Nigel, and Jarvis agrees (he's out of breath)." Mary laughs the whole time as she calls it "frantic" and says there wasn't a whole lot of clarity up there. Mia says she loved when he danced out of his shoes, and she also thought it was "brilliant" when he was slapping his own ass. Nigel says he's not a good dancer but a great entertainer. Mia blathers something about sunshine, but he's not quite good enough. Mary wants him to go through to choreography, and Nigel hems and haws while Jarvis fidgets. Finally Nigel says he'll see Jarvis in choreography, which sends Jarvis screeching, and Nigel covers her face all, "My god, what have I done?"
Then, on stage, things get even weirder, Cat tells us. Brandon Gordon, 23, of Phoenix is roughly twice the size of Nicole Peterson, 21, of Flagstaff, with whom he's dancing a ballet routine. The judges are impressed by a lift they did (or impressed that they even accomplished it at all). This leads into a montage of suck/weird with a bunch of dancers who aren't identified but aren't nearly so off the wall as to deserve comments like "how close are we to Roswell?" (Nigel) or "the spaceship has landed" (Mary). One guy has the hiccups and that apparently is really freaky and weird too. This is like -- you know what it's like? You know that annoying older woman who works in your office and goofs off most of the day and thinks there could be a sitcom based in your workplace because all the wacky joking around? That's what this is like.