Chase Thomas's gimmick is that he's lean and mostly naked. He's also kind of a jackass. He appears for his audition wearing just shorts. And his personal story is that his fiancée was cheating on him. He's got a weirdly long head and a widow's peak. If he had pointy ears, he'd look exactly like the Sub-Mariner. His dance takes advantage of his long legs and arms, but it's a little too Contemporary to actually comment on. He leaps around and rolls on the floor and looks hopefully into the distance. Nigel wants to know why it was so short. He's going to Vegas, and I hope that he wears some clothes.

We end with Brittany Morgan Starr, who claims that she's the daughter of "the real, original, uh-huh, legal Ringo Starr," which is not the one that's running around claiming to be Ringo these days. The current Ringo, she says, is really named "Richard Starkey," while the original Ringo disappeared after John Lennon was shot. Don't try to make sense of it. Nigel tries to talk sense to her, but there's obviously no point. This is the Dumb Joke segment of the festivities, and I appreciate that it took 48 minutes to get here. She flails around on stage like someone who can't dance. I don't know whether she's mentally disturbed or putting on an act to get on camera, and I don't much care. Off with you! Unfortunately, the show is fascinated with this kind of nonsense, so after a judging session that's far too respectful, we go to see Mr. Starr's crazy house and even crazier self-made documentary. It is not clear to me why this is happening. He does have a nice Sgt. Pepper's outfit. That's something, I guess.

That was awful. It almost made me hate Ringo. And I love Ringo! Well, we're done with Salt Lake City. It's time to go to New York City! Yay! I'm gonna get a Chocolate Egg Cream down at the malt shop!

Okay, New York. It has a lot of good dancers in it, as well as a bunch of crazy people. The judges are Jason Gilkison, Mary Murphy, and Nigel Lythgoe. That all seems reasonable. I have no objections, so let's move on.

First up, "Princess Lockeroo," Samara Cohen, 24, from Brooklyn. She dresses like Trinity from the Matrix and talks like Natasha Leggero. Her dance style is "whacking," which allows people to see the music. She's influenced by things that spin quickly. There's a lot of handwaving in the style, and also in the explanation of why the style isn't hogwash. Her music sounds a bit like a fight scene on The Man From U.N.C.L.E. But it's actually "The Flight of the Bumblebee" all jazzed up. It's kind of fun, actually, although I find her pretty tiring. The truth is, I would find most of these kids tiring in person. The judges love her and they're already talking about people voting for her. Jason liked that she adopted a character, because that's a key part of dancing on this show. Nigel pretends he doesn't know what to do, so the random "Vegas!" shout from the crowd pushes him over the edge. Lockeroo to Vegas.