So You Think You Can Dance
Auditions: Atlanta and the Bay Area

Episode Report Card
Joe R: A | Grade It Now!
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Where the Players Play

Bianca Hinklerian tore up a fastfastfast Colombian-style salsa, but the judges seemed more interested in telling her 17-year-old dance partner Giovanni to come back and audition next year. Fake brothers Deon and Damon gave the show an excuse to bust some "It Takes Two," and also gave the show its first opportunity to do a Dancers Flirt with Cat segment, which she handles with her usual aplomb. The dancing itself gets unanimous praise, but while I found it entertaining as hell -- they perform a kind of ode to bromance that is oddly sweet, especially in a hip-hop context, but I'm not sure they have the sick skills the judges think they do. Ballroomer Kimalee Piedad makes it through with a ton of praise from Mary, even though the audition looked uneven. Maybe I was mesmerized by her dance partner who looks like the big raping giant from Game of Thrones. But some of this looks really lumbering. Props to this INSANE controlled upside-down split, though.

Overall, Atlanta is like, shockingly stacked with amazing dancers. Even the judges are like, "Can we get some jokers in here? The guys at FOX are gonna have seizures if we don't make fun of some fat retarded person soon." Oh, and by the way, the choreography round in Atlanta is being directed by Jakob (season 6) and Katee (season 4), which is what heaven would be if heaven weighed 110 pounds.

THE JUNK

John Palermo, a.k.a. White Chocolate, a.k.a. a wannabe b-boy, doughy but not un-cute. He doesn't know what a "surname" is, so that's strike one. His version of dancing involves a lot of half-formed concepts and Michael Jackson "moves," so that's strike two. And Lil' C sits there as stone-faced as I've ever seen him, which is like not getting the blessing from my father, so sorry, John Palermo. We can never be. Nigel calls him "juvenile," which: YUP. John wants a hug from the judges before he leaves. Strike, like, nine, dude. Shut it down.

Kyre Batiste is an awesome person with an awesome Grandma named Mandy Walker who used to be a dancer herself and had an Aretha quality to her. Kyre is good -- better than Deon and Damon, I thought. He moves like an al dente noodle, is the best I can describe it. He does need to stop mouthing the songs as he dances, though. The hilarious thing is that when the judges ask Mandy for her critique, she actually gives it, telling her grandbaby to have better eye-contact next time. The judges think this is hilarious, and even more so when C starts saying he disagrees with her, at which point Mandy removes her belt and whacks C with it. She doesn't even have an especially light touch. Hilarious evocations of child abuse! Kyre gets put to choreography, but it's a real struggle for him, and he's eliminated. Sad face.

San Francisco

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So You Think You Can Dance

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