THE JUNK

Only one bad audition in this episode, which is pretty miraculous. Joe "Big C" Doyle has decided that the best way to present himself on national television is to dress up like a Santa Claus lumberjack (spray-painted gray beard; "rosy" cheeks, flannel and suspenders). Once on stage, the shirt comes off quickly, which is a mistake that we all end up paying for. He's one of those "I'm in on the joke" bad auditions that, while not completely un-annoying (he's still wasting teacher's valuable time), at least helps differentiate the awful people on this show from the belligerent, willfully delusional jerks on American Idol. Nigel and Mary and Tyce can smile at Big C and thank him for making them laugh and send him on his way, and he kind of smiles and thanks them for putting him on TV. It's not a perfect fame-whore symbiosis (that Daughter of Ringo girl from the last episode proved that), but it's the least painful kind.

Otherwise, everybody was great in L.A., which shocked the hell out of me. Though I felt bad that Mary didn't get any good ballroomers. Though even that led to Nigel's comedy highlight of all time, noting that Los Angeles, much like "Tyce's trousers," had no ballroom. Zing, Nigel. Very zing.

Next week: Vegas already! Travis Wall! Debbie Allen! Bloody toes! It's all nearly too much to handle.

Joe R has called the fire department, honey, in anticipation of Debbie Allen's return. The fire department wishes he'd stop doing that. Questions, comments, and unadulterated love can be sent to him at joseph.reid21@gmail.com.