Oh, this is shaping up to be terrible, isn't it? This isn't going to be pretty. He dances to that "Poker Face" song. It's not great. He's got enthusiasm and energy, but no technique. So Nigel gently tells him that he wasn't really doing hip-hop, and Dustin instantly turns into Excuse Guy, explaining that he was drawing on his martial arts training. Oh, and also? He just got over the flu and bronchitis and five days ago he couldn't even walk, so that's why he had to cut out all his "power moves" which obviously would have made the judges' heads explode, that's how awesome he normally is. I think Nigel is bang-on when he says Dustin is delusional. Nigel asks if Dustin could leap across the gap and kick one of them. Dustin says he can, and I think he really believes he can, but we all know he cannot. But Nigel jokes that it's straight on to Vegas for him. Mary says the guy's got a strong body, but she doesn't know why he's kicking one minute and doing some very feminine moves the next. Lil' C didn't like it all but respects Dustin's effort and honesty and suggests he look into "trickin'," which involves either combining b-boy moves and martial arts, or selling his body on the street. Dustin pledges to come back next year. "Backstreet's back, all right!" is the clip played by the sarcastic editor.
Chris Carrozza, 28, of Memphis is the standard douchebag who expects to become a national hero by faking sincerity in his audition, when in reality he thinks he's doing a subversive performance art piece that's going to blow everyone's little minds. He calls what he's doing "electric," which involves a minimal amount of breakdancing, a lot of popping and locking, he tells us.
He gets on stage and hops around a lot, waving his arms around.
"It's very, sort of, Euro-pop sort of rave party," says Nigel. Chris is completely out of breath, another hallmark of the faker: clearly he doesn't spend a lot of time practicing. I mean, even the shitty pseudo-strippers can finish a routine without hyperventilating (sorry, Tony). The judges do that cautious thing where they're worried about calling bullshit on someone if there's the slightest chance they might be sincere. Mary asks what he was hoping to get here today, and Chris brightly says "Not much, really," adding that he's ready to go home. He peels off his audition number before Lil' C can even say anything, so Nigel calls him back to tell him he's being rude, and Chris says Nigel is the one who's being rude. You know, by being critical. It is pretty awful for a judge to be critical, I agree. Chris, having failed to make anyone's monocle pop off into their glasses of champagne, then pretends that his audition was all about proving to himself that he could do it.