Then there's dumb Von Kipper, 22, Professional Hater. It seems like he came onto the show to make a point about how the show forces hip-hop dancers into cutesy gimmickry, and he does so by showing up with a hamster costume (though Cat, who has absolutely NO use for him whatsoever, keeps calling it a "gerbil"). So Von is here to prove a point. "If I get cut," he says, "I'm not gonna care." Cat: "Good, cause I pretty much guarantee you will be." I am not kidding, Cat HATES this dick. "Take your gerbil outfit and get out of here." Von: "...Hamster." On stage, Von takes the quickest road to villainy, which is hating on autistic Sam. He's presenting himself as a dance purist, but he's really just an asshole. He draws boos like he wanted. And of course he was never going to be good enough to elide the criticism he begged the judges to hand down to him. C tells him he lost his focus. Von says he wasn't expecting to be questioned on his opinions (O RLY?). Neither Mary nor Nigel was impressed either, and Nigel scolds him for his bad attitude. "You are the worst person in attitude that we've had on the show." Von ties to say that he came to the stage with a good attitude, until Nigel starting prodding him, but Nigel is like, "We heard what you said to Cat, douche." Seriously.

Next week: two more cities, more great dancers, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. In that order.

Joe R is starting out on Team Chehon Wespi-Tschopp and working from there. Questions, comments, and unadulterated love can be sent to him at joseph.reid21@gmail.com.