Next to perform are Alexie and Melinda. Alexie is a former Laker girl and UCLA grad (Lauren S., this is your girl!), while Melinda is a tapper who's friends with lots of old people. They're joined by Allison (season 2) and Lauren (season 3, and also the deepest places in my heart) for a Tyce Diorio Broadway number. True to Tyce's form, there's not much to this Sweet Charity-inspired confection. Lots of skirt-ruffling and leaping ultimately not leading to much of anything. But all four women dance it well. I'm particularly intrigued by Alexie, who is already a Cat fave because she auditioned for like 99 seasons before finally making it. Nigel says he sometimes couldn't tell which was an all-star and which was a contestant, which he means as a compliment to Alexie, but I noticed the same thing and chalked it up to the sameiness of Tyce's choreo. Nigel says Alexie and Melinda now need to work on developing a "magic quality." Um, Nigel, people don't develop magic qualities. You're either born with it or you're a muggle. I notice the all-stars haven't been allowed to speak yet. I appreciate wanting to get the focus on the contestants right out of the gate, but it's starting to feel creepy that they're just silent.
Jose! Jose is next! As he's the only hip-hopper they let onto the show this season (which I'm actually fine with; with just a top 10 (11) you can't exactly take a flier on a Phillip Chbeeb who can pop but is hopeless at everything else), he's dancing with all three hip-hop all-stars, Twitch, Comfort, and Dominic. It's Dom who finally breaks the all-stars' silence -- fucking of course it's Dominic -- as he blabbers to the camera all "ALL-STARS READY TO RUMBLE WOO!" Thirteen seconds in and I'm already exhausted by that guy. Anyway, the NapTab choreography is set up as a 3-on-1 dance battle that involves some inventive moves. Jose and Dom do a roll-up where Jose's hoodie is pulled off my Dom's feet. After that, Jose's shirt is the same color as the other three, and the performance becomes more unified. Because he's part of the group now, see? Afterwards, Dominic immediately starts with the hitting-on-Cat shtick, pulling as much focus as he possibly can from Jose. Cat, Adam, please don't encourage him. Adam's so pleased with Jose's work here but tells him he's going to have to keep working to be able to stay afloat since the Top 11 is so insanely talented.
Brace-faced Christina is the only ballroomer in competition, so she's joined by Pasha and blonde Anya. As we learned at this stage last season, three-person ballroom is just awkward. This salsa is no different. There's no sustained connection between performers, you can't stay in closed position for more than a few seconds. It all seems wrong. Added to that, Christina gets seriously outshined by Pasha and Anya here. And not only because Pasha comes equipped with a cute haircut and an open shirt (one that eventually gets tossed off altogether). Though seriously, Pasha: missed you, baby. Choreographer Jason Gilkison admits that three-person ballroom is dicked up, though Cat helps sell the fiction that the focus stayed on Christina (it didn't; my eyes were on Pasha and Anya always). Nigel makes some pervy comments about how awesome it was that Jason choreographed two women fighting over a man, and he makes sure none of us thinks he liked shirtless Pasha. That is a lie, sir, and you know it. Everybody likes shirtless Pasha.