Jazz dancers! I don't recall seeing either Bridget Krousse nor Tae Kwon before, but they're out now, so whatever. IN are quietly smoldering Clarice Ordazz and shot-in-the-shoulder Marko Germar. It looks like the judges will have to choose between extremely un-quietly sexy Jordan Casanova (who's such an impressive dancer that I'm surprised anew every time she speaks and sounds like kind of an idiot) and this girl names Missy who is ALSO sexy. Oh my God! TWO sexy girls? Is that even POSSIBLE? The judges are like, "Fuck it, we didn't get into this business NOT to push boundaries," so they put both Jordan and Missy in. And Missy wins some loyalty from me for how hard she's trying not to cry.
Clarice, Marko, Jordan, and Missy get to perform a Sonya Tayeh jazz routine, which features, among other things, Marko jumping clear across all three girls. Hello, Marko, I love you already. I feel like I'm picking on Jordan, but while her auditions were super limber, she looks really hunchy here. Now, Sonya often choreographs the women to move in kind of rounded-shoulder motions, but Jordan is losing her neck in a way Clarice and Missy manage to avoid. The routine gives Tyce a chance to show off as he refuses to sit down at the judges table, instead just yelling crap like "Sick!" and "Amazing!" over and over, until Robin joins him and starts yelling "Sexy!" and now they're just two annoying peas in a pod. Fair and Balanced Nice Thing About Tyce: he's valiantly propping up the teeth-whitening industry, which makes him a good American.
Slim pickings mean we have to treat "Broadway/Tap" as if it's a genre unto itself, for the sake of dealing with Jess LeProto and Nick Young. You remember Jess as the hyper-Broadway guy who's kind of annoying and who Nigel gave a hard time to for not seeming like he was enjoying himself. Kind of a bullshit critique, if you ask me, because a) you can totally tell he's enjoying it because "it" involves himself, and b) his transparent work ethic is totally charming. Meanwhile, Nick is new, and he's the lone tap-dancer this season; I thought we'd given up on tap after the tap-pocalypse of Season 6, but I'm willing to give it another go, because I already love Nick Young. Oh, sorry to kill the suspense, but both Jess and Nick get IN, though Jess has to put up with more hyper-scrutiny from Nigel (expect this to continue). On stage, the guys perform a hybrid Broadway/tap number from choreographer Christopher Scott, with kind of a downtown (Nick and his shinebox)/uptown (Jess and his dinner jacket) vibe. It's kind of an awkward pairing, to be honest, I think mostly because Jess is not all that good at tap. But Nigel ends up receiving it well, because he's a sucker for tap; he even mentions that six of the girls this year have tap training, so look for one or more of them to be sucked into the abyss of Nigel's childhood obsession. Nick, by the way, gives a lot of face during critiques, which is the kind of thing that got Robert in trouble with fans last year, but fuck them, Nick is amazing.













Comments