"And with that, a trend was started," says Cat, as we head into a montage of sucky dancers. Fortunately, many have futures in law, architecture and marine biology, so they be all right.
Ryann Race is up next. He has multiple piercings and is a strip-club DJ. He brags that he makes a lot of money. But money can't buy you love, remember; he tells us he and his stripper girlfriend split up two weeks ago. "It's hard to be a couple in a strip club." I never would have guessed! Well, he's going to pour his heartbreak out into his dance moves. He dances like he doesn't have bones, except for the angular popping and locking starts. The judges all like him. Nigel compares him to "Reed" from the Fantastic Four, and then pops a boner when he finds out Ryann's a strip-club DJ, and Ryann busts out the cheese-eating club-DJ voice, which ought to have been grounds for disqualification right there. Mandy says he needs to "enhance his lines" to be even more real or whatever.
Next up: Matt Dorame, dancing a contemporary routine in his sock feet while the judges murmur things like "fabulous." Nigel says he had very good lines, before complaining about Matt's bright-red Starter shorts, which messed with his lines. "I would definitely pick up the telephone for you, brother," says Mary, which might have been a reference to the song he was dancing to, but it was one of those pop-punk numbers that all sound exactly the same to me, because I am horribly old and in my thirties now.
Thayne Jasperson dances contemporary. "You are a beautifully trained dancer, and you're fabulous," says Mandy. Both true. But I'm already starting to suffer talent overload (not something I risk when I recap The Bachelor, that's for sure).
Now it's time for the requisite storyline involving two BFFs who got married at the same time, got divorced at the same time, teach a dancerobics class together, and -- I'm assuming -- enjoy naked tickle-fighting each other.
Kortney Pearson and Michelle Stringham. Kortney has an adorable two and a half year old son. She's up first, with a contemporary routine. Mary watches, looking pissed. When Kortney finishes, she's rather out of breath, and attributes that to not really dancing in five years, saying she kind of lost her passion for it. Nigel says she needs to get her technique back. "I enjoyed watching you dance," says Mary, who says there's lots of potential, and Mandy agrees. They send her through to the choreography. Would "Shelley" be joining her? asks Cat. Let's watch!