THE PRETTY BAD

Lynn Gravat is into alien space dancing and other such nonsense. So really she probably started having seizures that she interpreted as alien spirits entering her body and compelling her to dance. This is classic Salem Witch stuff. The show has a lot of fun with the names she has for the "spirits" that inhabit her, but really, this is the worst type of audition: either she's legit and mentally ill or putting us on and thus an asshole. I'm guessing it's the former here. Speaking of former, Lynn is formerly an aerospace engineer, which makes me think she's one of those "she came back wrong" situations. On her better moments, she reminds me of Jane Lynch from the "witches in nature's colors" scene in A Mighty Wind. Anyway, she dances like a Grateful Dead hippie spinning, mixed with some robotics. Nigel condescends and the judges are like "at least you're happy?" Very "bless your heart" about the whole thing.

The super-gross ballroomer Johnny Ahn, 29, is taking a class on picking up chicks, so you can only imagine. After teaching Cat about negging and getting a glorious Teflon treatment from her, he hits on his dance partner Whitney Hallam, 19, who seems to be totally fine except for the part where she willingly interacts with Johnny. The judges basically laugh Johnny and his dating strategies out of the room, while they all take a moment to feel bad for Whitney. On the dancefloor, their moves are solid but their chemistry is nonexistent. They're sent to choreography where we're all put out of our misery. Sorry, Whitney, but the sacrifice of you was for the greater good.

Next week: VEGAS HOLY GOD VEGAS.

Joe R declined to mention a certain Adam Shankman movie coming out soon, because he likes Adam Shankman. Questions, comments, and unadulterated love can be sent to him at joseph.reid21@gmail.com.