William Wingfield does sort of a performance art piece about the state of society today, which was interesting, but not really a great dance piece. Nigel says the same thing. Yay, I'm in sync with Nigel tonight! Mary wanted more. Mia thought it was beautiful, and loved the statement he made, but agrees with Nigel. They send him off for the second dance session. And that's the end of hour one.
We're back and now there's a montage of the bad and the whorish. Then there's Rijiy Ames, who strips down to his tighty whiteys for a contemporary piece to a Carrie Underwood song. Unusual to say the least, but I'm most disturbed by the fact that he's wearing black dance shoes. They just seem out of place. Wait, I take that back. I'm most disturbed by the fact that when he's rolling around on the floor, seemingly in pain, they have to blur a crotch shot. My eyes. My poor eyes. The judges are all giggling and Mary has to resort to the Randy Jackson hide my head behind a piece of paper so the auditioner can't see she's laughing. He can still hear, Mary! She says she'd rather not comment. Rijiy (Pronounced Ree-gee, and is Russian for redhead, which he is, but I didn't notice because of all the nakedness) gratefully puts his clothes back on for judging. Nigel couldn't pay attention because he was distracted by the underpants. Underpants is a great word. Redhead claims that it was a statement about being a clean slate. Now Mia's giggling too, Mary's not even trying to hide the laughing. What a freakin' mess. You've got to be wary of those ginger kids. You never know when they're going to tear their clothes off. Needless to say, Rijiy is sent off to the local gay strip club to land a gig.
Finally, we're off to the see the maybes, who have been sitting in what I'm sure is the smelliest little room in this swanky theater, waiting to get back on the stage. Travis Wall is choreographing. Travis! That's cool. He's still hot. We only get to see him for ten seconds. I want more. More Travis. If you are going to show us people we've seen before, why not someone incredible?
Popper Phillip seems to do well. Half-naked Italian boy ignores his partner (a girl we haven't seen before) and William Wingfield looks all smooth. Jonathan's partner can't get his attention so she jumps on him. Literally. The judges send Jonathan home. He says, "I think I'm too beautiful for this competition." Conceited much? Phillip and William make it through, along with 16 other people who we know nothing about and have seen only in passing. I know they can't show everyone, but a little less time on people we'd seen before (like Sex) would have been appreciated. On to Day 2 of auditions in la-la land.