Tito Puente! "Mambo Beat," which seems wrong. Shouldn't they be doing a mambo, then? The lifts look to me to be really tentative and cautious as they move from one to the next. Chris has the requisite unbuttoned shirt, but his smile looks forced. Ashley is working hard, but Chris is doing nothing for me here. Nope. Didn't care for it.

Judges? Tell me I'm wrong! Travis says he loves them and he started out hopeful. He objects to the lack of chemistry and pop. How can the audience boo Travis? Chris asks how Travis can be so mean. Nice! Carmen insists that salsa is passionate and sharp and says she felt like they were hesitating. That's what I said! I'm on Carmen's side. A tiny minority of the audience puts together another round of booing. Mary reminds us that Ashley and Chris were on the Hot Tamale Train in week two. Does she actually track this stuff? Does she think we're paying that much attention? Weird. I thought it was just random stuff she shouted. She mentions "Latin swagger" a lot and basically praises them for at least finishing the routine and Chris not dropping Ashley in the lifts. Nigel says they didn't have the right feel.

Ricky and Ryan. Ryan is from Morgan Hill, California. She met Mia Michaels at a dance convention in Sacramento, just when she'd had to stop taking dance classes for lack of money. And Mia swooped in and saved her, as I assume she is always doing somewhere. Ryan got to be on House with Mia, and there's a great picture of the two of them with Hugh Laurie where Hugh is making a face much more like Blackadder-era Hugh Laurie. Ryan got to play a weird, quirky nurse or something. Ricky is from Miami and loves the beach. He reveals that he was a cheerleader in high school, and I think we all know what Sparky Polastri says about the relationship between dancers and cheerleaders. They've got a Chucky Klapow jazz routine. They play people who died because of their love of fashion. It will be stylistic and involve "the funk of laziness."

It's going to be hard for me to be rational about this, because it is set to David Bowie's "Fashion." They're kind of herky-jerky zombies, I think. The reason I say "zombies" is that they do some Thriller-dance hand motions. Also because Chuck said they were dead. By the way, I've always thought it was nice of the goon squad to go "beep beep!" Just because you're goons doesn't mean you shouldn't drive safely.