Last night's pretty amazing kick-off to the All-Stars portion of the season is sadly still going to end up with two eliminated dancers. And after last night's chyron snafu required Cat Deeley to prove her Emmy-worthiness by rattling off ten phone numbers in what felt like 90 seconds, it'll be interesting to see how results shake out.
The opening number, set to Broadway's Smoky Joe's Café, is Fosse out the eyeballs, down to the shiny bowlers, gold pants, and Roxie Hart-style crystal leotards. If this isn't Tyce Diorio, then it's someone severely fucking with him. (BTW, how about that NPH taking direct aim at ol' Tyce last night. One of us, Neil! You're one of us!) Cat struts out when sparkly confetti is falling -- hot -- and lo and behold, that routine was choreographed by one Josh Bergasse. Tyce is not having a great week.
Cat manages to make my day simply by returning to her old "jidges" elocution. Mary Murphy, tonight, has chosen a giant sunburst necklace to match her giant décolletage. And NPH takes a shot at American Idol's awful group numbers by way of saying how awesome the Dance group routines usually are. YUP.
Wasting no time, Cat pulls out the first three dancers: Melanie, Tadd, and Mitchell. ...Well, not so tough to see which way this is going to shake out. Looking back at last night, Mitchell struggled in a Tyce Broadway number that NPH rightly called out as being uninspired and formless (Fair and Balanced Tyce Compliment: If Tyce started booing Neil at that moment, you couldn't hear it);Melanie was gorgeous in a stately waltz with Sexy Shirtless Pasha; Tadd paired with Comfort for a hip-hop that looked fast-paced and impressive, but also sometimes a bit out of Tadd's range (though Mary rightly complimented his musicality). Survey says: Mitchell is indeed in the Bottom 4. No surprise. Cat tries a fakeout with Melanie and Marko, but shame on you if you fell for it.
Back from the break, Marko, Clarice, and Sasha are on stage. Last night, the judges glossed over a few of Marko's wobbly steps on the samba, though honestly, I think most of that was just the fact that nobody's ever going to keep up with Chelsie Hightower. SO happy to see her back on a show that clearly appreciates her more than Dancing with the Stars does. Marko was mostly great, though, and he's totally safe. Sasha KILLED with Twitch on the sexiest hip-hop number since probably Sabra and Dominic in Season 3. And just like Debbie Allen told those two, I will say to Sasha and Twitch: CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, HONEY, THAT WAS HOT! Clarice closed the show with Wonderful, Still-Pretending-He's-Into-Girls Robert and some energetic Bollywood. One of them is in the Bottom 4, says Cat, and this time I believe her. It's Clarice. No shame in that, really. It sure as hell wasn't going to be Sasha or Melanie, so she only really had a one-in-three shot at being safe.