This week's guest dancers are known as the Bad Boys of Dance. Though they could also be accurately be called Man-Sized Hot Dudes in Football Pants. I think maybe their whole deal is that they're contemporary dancers, but not wispy little sprites like some of their brethren? I'm not really going to analyze it too hard. There is also a girl, I should probably mention. The music is kind of Hot Cops, I must admit. It's kind of not my thing, this kind of self-conscious attempt to make contempo "cool." But I can't deny they're awesome dancers.
Cat then calls Sasha and Caitlynn to the stage. It's anticlimactic as hell, but credit to both girls -- especially Caitlynn -- for handling the moment well. Nigel nearly ruins it by taking a moment to slam Caitlynn for dancing too much in her head. Dude, be cool! Cat announces Sasha as the third finalist, and Caitlynn gives her a warm and genuine hug. Her dancer's journey really shows me that the smiliness she was sometimes knocked for doesn't come across as false at all. That is a genuine girl, and a solid dancer.
Before we get to the boys' results, we're forced to tread water with a performance from Pia Toscano. ...Who? Oh, so glad you asked. You know how sometimes in the middle of an American Idol season you kind of lose all perspective, the forest for the trees and all that? And suddenly everything becomes relative only to how it appears within the contrived boundaries of that show? And so really mediocre singers without much personality suddenly become VERY IMPORTANT because they're so much better than weird Countrystiltskin teenagers who leer at you while singing about God? And then those competent-but-boring singers get eliminated because the texting girls who vote for that show do not give one shit about your halfway-powerful voice, especially when you're so decidedly a girl? And then everybody who watches the show but simultaneously thinks they're better than the texting girls who actually vote go totally apeshit and pretend a) like the concept of "justice" even exists on that show, and b) an injustice was just perpetrated? And then you get two weeks of pity publicity on the internet? And then everybody totally forgets about you forever? Until the executive producer of the show decides, what the hell, the music market is so fragmented these days, maybe the pity factor is strong enough to squeeze out some iTunes downloads, so let's sign her up and then promote her on our dancing show, despite the fact that she delivered every song she ever sang standing completely still and she might not actually be able to move at all, much less dance? Pia Toscano is kind of like that. And now she's done singing and out of my life once again.