So You Think You Can Dance
Season 9, Episode 11

Episode Report Card
Joe R: A+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Black Swan Moan

Witney and Nick Lazzarini (Season 1): Jazz (Travis Wall)
Oh, it's a Shaping Sound showcase! I trust you're all watching All the Right Moves? I love Nick as a dancer and all, but watching him on that show, I just do not trust him! I think he's trying to pull some All About Eve stuff on Travis. Anyway, ghosts! That's the theme of this piece -- they're ghosts from the 1920s or something. Sexy is the watchword for Witney, this week. Travis wants to bring the sexy out! Nick wants to give her sexy lessons! Et cetera. On stage, there's lots of fast, jazzy movement, and some great lines by both dancers. Benjamin loved the release and tension in the routine and thought it was great fun. Nigel recognized the sexy in Witney this week, because he is a goddamned genius. Whatever, nothing in this critique matters as much as Mary exclaiming, "Lord have Murphy!" That was astounding.

Cole and Anya Garnis (Season 3): Cha-Cha (Dmitry Chaplin)
Aw, Dmitry! Always a pleasure. Cole outright says his goal is to be the season's first passenger on the Hot Tamale Train, which I would find presumptuous even on a dancer I wasn't already annoyed with. This cha-cha is set to The Wanted's pleasingly pervy "Glad You Came." Don't tell anyone, but I LOVE when the choreographers program a ballroom routine to a dumb song like this. Anyway, Anya is just a delight (and as Mary later says, the passenger on the maiden voyage of the "Hot Tamale Train"). But Cole ... well, ballroom is one style where commitment to some weirdo character isn't going to be enough. He's way too loosey-goosey with the legs. Mary's is the only opinion I want here, and indeed she tells him specifically where his footwork went wrong. She says she can't put him on the Hot Tamale Train tonight! HAHAHA! Sorry, that's probably mean, but he's been consistently overpraised all season. Let me have this. Nigel wants Cole to play less to the audience and pay more attention to his partner. We see Matthew and Alexa in the audience, and I'm glad to see them having fun again. They both looked so beaten down upon their exits.

Lindsay and Jakob Karr (Season 6): Broadway (Spencer Liff)
Jakob! One of my all-time favorites to have ever passed through this show. Meanwhile, Spencer's been getting stronger and stronger every time he choreographs, so I'm excited for this one. It's a really creative routine, with Lindsay and Jakob on opposite sides of a screen that casts a shadow on one of them or the other, and they mirror each other's Fosse-inspired movement. It's intelligent, coherent choreography and super fun to watch. Moreover, it shows off both dancers' forms quite well. Truthfully, I'm more impressed with Jakob mirroring Lindsay's feminine motions than the other way around. After they dance, Nigel requests a pointed foot from Jakob, and it starts to get ... okay, I'm just going to say sexual, because it kind of does. Please stop getting sexual with Jakob's perfect feet, Nigel. Meanwhile, he calls Lindsay "magnificent yet again." WHAT do they see in this girl? She seems perfectly adequate and nothing more. They always do this, just pat Lindsay on the head and tell her she's a wonderful little princess. Mary even hands her Cole's ticket on the Hot Tamale Train. I don't know. Nigel and Mary fawn over Jakob some more -- hey, where was this support when he was getting backburnered for Russell in his season? HUH?

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So You Think You Can Dance

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