So You Think You Can Dance

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Cold Comfort

So here we are, not live, as I've been under the impression for no reason other than my own idiocy. Didn't I tell you about my idiocy? I thought I had. I mean, I realize the judges' comments are illustrated with clips from the dance performed just moments before, but I figured they were flagging specific moves while the dancers were actually performing them for producers to get ready in time for the judges' comments. But no, we're not live. But you all knew that, though. Just remember, if anything I write makes you say, "Huh? Isn't the case exactly the opposite of what he just said?" it's best to remember I'm a moron.

Jessica, nooooo! Jessica's not in the opening montage of dancers -- she's broken two ribs and fractured another, and under doctor's orders she can't dance for another four weeks or so. "She's so brave!" says Cat, like Jessica's terminal, for god's sake. Call the Make-A-Wish Foundation, Cat. The upshot is that Comfort's back in for the competition.

Lil' C's joining the judges this week, and there are a couple of twists: the dancers will be dancing solos, and the old couples have been broken up.

Joshua is now paired with Courtney, and they're going to do some popping with Dave Scott. As far as rehearsal goes, Josh ain't trippin'. Courtney, however, she be trippin'.

And Mario is "Skippin'" as Joshua is a hip-hop mad scientist and Courtney is a hip-hop Bride of Funkenstein! I really enjoyed this routine, especially when Joshua picked Courtney up and flipped her around. Lots of moves with their bodies pressed against each other, and some ... dry leg humping! That was fun.

First up, Lil' C praises the choreographer (good -- he got the memo) and then says they did great. And then Mary yells a little bit, which prompts the dancers' open-mouthed-laughing-combined-with-clapping thing that all the dancers do when Mary raises her voice above a certain decibel level. She loved it. Nigel called Joshua Dr. Spankenstein. He loved Courtney's character, not so much her dancing, pointing to an arabesque she didn't nail.

Chelsie comes in to dance to "Pon de Replay" by Rihanna. A lot of Latin moves and twirls from Chelsie, and it's not really much of anything, so I thought maybe she was building to something. Only it turns out she's only got thirty seconds, like when a contestant dances for her life. This is what happens when you keep the run time at two hours but have fewer contestants to fill it. But hey: at least they're filling it with dancing instead of stuff like, "Let's ask the dancers which partner stinks up the bathroom the worst!"

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So You Think You Can Dance

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