Jessica and Will are getting what Cat calls "this show's equivalent of the short straw": the quick step. Tony Meredith and Melanie LaPatin are choreographing it, and all the rehearsal interviews are about how hard it is. "Bandstand Boogie" by Barry Manilow is the song -- oh, that's this song. I know this song. I hate this song. Will opens the routine with a series of backflips. I don't think that's strictly quickstep, is it? Nor is the jive, right? Well, get the crowd on your side, right? If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit. The quickstep seems as good as it ever is, but they look like they're having fun. Nigel says everything about the routine, except the actual quickstep, was good. Mary agrees, and then criticizes the jacket Will's wearing, but it's on-point because she says it screwed up his shape and made him heavier. Mia says she's sad because after her last number, she thought Jessica "got it." But now she's back to the "stiff, disconnected, insecure place." And Will looks tired from carrying her (literally and figuratively, apparently). He needs a new partner, she says. Oooh, says the audience. Will gallantly sticks up for Jessica, who is by no means the albatross the judges seem to want to make her every week.
Courtney and Gev are doing a Mandy Moore jazz routine, about two people who are lost in the jungle. The theme could just as easily be standup comedy clichés, since Courtney informs us that men never ask for directions. Is she right, ladies? See, the ladies know what she's talkin' about. "Standing There" by The Creatures plays for us as Courtney and Gev throw each other about the stage and dance-fight over a map, ending with a cool step-lift of Courtney over Gev's shoulders, and then she throws him like a professional wrestler, onto his back. Nigel calls it fun, like everything they do, but cotton candy. No substance. The crowd lightly boos. Mary calls it "rough and raw" and loved it from the jump. Then I get completely distracted because Fox runs a promo for an upcoming show that takes up almost half the screen. Mia says both their pieces tonight were great. "You guys are like one of my top couples, for sure," she says. She seems strangely unenthusiastic, though. Probably thinking about murdering Courtney.
Kherington and Twitch are the tango with Jean-Marc Genereux and France. And one of them dies at the end -- "Kherington!" spoils Twitch. "Assassin's Tango" from Mrs. And Mrs. Smith. Well, if the title is anything to go by, the music should at least be apropos. He's in a black suit with a white tie, she's in a -- I don't know what the deal is with the dress. It's a black and white striped skirt with a lacey top thing. The tango is kinda boring, kinda awkward. The turns and lifts and tricks are very laboured, which is too bad, because I like these two a lot. And if they're supposed to be fighting like Mr. and Mrs. Smith, it just isn't there. Nigel says it wasn't as good as he's seen Twitch perform. It wasn't believable, and not as smooth. He tells Kherington that they murdered the routine, not each other. Mary liked the beginning and the end, but not the middle. She tells them they have to be a little more down to the floor to make the turns sharp, etc. Mia rambles about power and magic and personality (she didn't like it).