Cat rattles off the top eighteen dancers after we're reminded that Paris and Tony got the heave-ho last week, mainly because they were seemingly the only couple that didn't result in Mary screeching at us.
Cat comes out, a lady in red, although someone's stolen the right shoulder of her dress. She introduces the judges. Lil' C's at the judges' table tonight, and Cat asks him if he watched the show last week, and he says he didn't because he was actually there live, and it was a very solid beginning to the season. Woo! Solid beginning!
Cat moves on to Mary and notes that we know Mary can't look surprised anymore -- Botox reference -- and asks if Mary's got any more revelations. Mary laughs her ass off for five minutes, and then mugs like crazy, eyes darting back and forth, and says, "What happens on the performance show stays on the performance show," and I don't think it's too much to ask that if you're going to be the millionth person to make a tired reference to the Vegas slogan that it at least MAKE SOME SORT OF SENSE. Nigel tries to pinch Mary's cheek only he can't get a grip because it's like trying to pinch a billiard ball. Mary tries to pretend her Botox revelation was all a dream sequence, and Cat tells her that all her friends love her even more now and think she's fabulous. Which is quite disappointing, if it's true. I like to picture Cat's friends being a little bit more sophisticated than that. You know, enjoying some Benny Hill and the like. And then Nigel startles everyone by advising the dancers to show the audience their strengths, not their weaknesses.
So let's get right to it! Tonight's dance-couple time-waster is all about asking the dancers what "America needs to know" about their partners. First up: Randi and Evan. Evan tells us Randi has a dog that she treats like a child, and the accompanying picture tells us that, apparently, Randi loves to share passionate kisses with children. She's one of those "put the dog on speakerphone so it can bark at me" dingbats. Randi really gets the short end of the stick here, as she tells us that Evan is a gearhead who built his own car from scratch. She can't even change a tire, so they're total opposites.
Evan says the performance last week was amazing, and he feels like a rock star, and Randi says it was crazy to be out there and have people chanting their names.