So You Think You Can Dance
The Winner Is Revealed

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Josh Kosh B'Gosh

One-hundred and sixty-seven performances! Sixty million votes! Three-hundred million shattered eardrums! We're ready to declare a winner!

The top twenty dancers are trotted out again. Here are all the people you didn't like enough to be here for real! The top four are saved for last, but they don't really do any dance moves -- too tired, I suppose.

"My babies! squeals Cat as she strolls out among them. I'm starting to think she actually believes this. Six choreographers are at the judges' table, so I guess they must have put the extra leaf in. Everyone is dressed up. Lil' C even put on a fancy argyle pullover-thing.

Adam, looking dapper, pimps his upcoming movie: Step Up 3D. If you think I am making that up, I am not.

And now here come the montages! The first one revisits the auditions, featuring both dancers who made it, and dancers who didn't, and also people lounging around the pool. Hey, it's that one chick who said if she was going out, she was going out on the stage! I'll never forget ... uh ... her.

The top twenty are going to do a group dance choreographed by -- yay! Shane Sparks! "Boom" by Sin (feat. T-Pain) is the music. Slow steps, and a flash of light. The men are in white and red, out on stage doing random arm movements. The women come out to join them. Mechanical movement, and the women take the men's places out on the floor. Heavy hip-hop. God, I missed Sparks this year.

Cat asks Nigel what his favorite routine of the season. Bollywood, he says, because it took the dancers out of their element, and Katee and Joshua come out for an encore. I have such a bad memory that a lot of these routines are going to seem new to me! They nail it, and the knee-spinning is great.

Mary Murphy picks Courtney and Gev, a "match made in heaven," doing the rumba, the "perfect blend of innocence and maturity," she says. Courtney slithers down Gev's back to get things started. The star lift-spin thing is pulled off nicely. Remember, everyone: Courtney already HAS a boyfriend.

Awesome! It's the popping battle between Robert Muraine and Philip Chbeeb! Lite opera backs the seriously narrated backstory of Philip's pneumonia and Robert's chicken-shittedness.

"Stronger" by Kanye West. Robert opens with herky-jerky popping and spine-rolling, Philip counters with independent head and torso movement. Slow neck movement and arm stretching from Robert, Philip does his wavy arms. Slow-motion Robert. Angular armed Philip. Robert bends over backwards, in stages. By the end of the song, they seem to be repeating themselves, but why can't we just watch this until the results are revealed?

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So You Think You Can Dance

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