The final two couples are on stage: Kourtni and Matt did a comic book character routine that the judges liked a lot, while Jessica and Will did a disco routine that was overall well received, albeit with reservations. I think I forgot to mention Will's backflips, so I should rectify that (speaking of rectifications, I think I confused Gavin Degraw with Tim McGraw a couple of recaps ago. At any rate, I hope it's the last time I have to mention either of these two in a sentence again).
Kourtni and Matt are in the bottom, and Will carries Jessica off the stage. Nigel tells Kourtni that she's been sensational throughout: "Now, I'm not so sure," he says, adding that she's got to bring out more personality. Matt, he says, needs to immerse himself in the parts, much like Nigel's going to immerse himself in ridiculous German and French accents, as well as a stellar Michael Caine. The dancers' faces read: who the eff is Michael Caine?
Qwest is apparently America's best dance crew. This may have been determined solely on the fact that three former SYTYCD contestants -- Ryan, Dominic and Hok, are part of the crew. It could also have been determined by the fact that they rule. Popping and locking and spinning in some kind of mad scientist routine to Blackalicious and Cut Chemist. There is head spinning! THERE SHOULD ALWAYS BE HEAD SPINNING. I feel very strongly about this. It's feverish and frenetic, and Qwest should always be tapped to perform rather than boring pop stars.
What's that? Jordin Sparks is coming up? See, this is just what I'm talking about. Sigh. But it gets worse, as first we're forced to endure more Snuggle-sponsored street dancing. Somebody named Rheo wins something. Probably all the Snuggle he can drink.
Chelsea is up first dancing for her life. She spin, twirls and kicks. She's fine, I guess. I like Chelsea. Thayne dances to Bon Jovi. Booo! He will love you always, while Thayne does a jeté. Comfort is next, hip-hopping, and using the stage a little bit better than she did last time. Chris is up next, whirling his way through a lyrical routine in which most of the lyrics consist of, "Is this enough personality for you, Nigel?" Kourtni dances next to "Fire Door," one of my favorite Ani Difranco songs, so I don't even mind the literal choreography in her lyrical routine when the song mentions "the edge" and she teeters on the edge of the stage. Matt dances to Jason Mraz, another contemporary routine. It doesn't make me want to kill myself, I suppose.