Boy, this show has a lot of actual content, doesn't it? Normally I can take half the show off with "Then Mary shouts for five minutes," but I feel like I've been typing the whole time tonight. Next, Karen and Victor have a Laurie Ann Gibson hip-hop number. It's about moving mountains. And mysterious exhortations like "moves mean nothing without the purpose". The music is Usher's "Moving Mountains", which is a little on-the-nose. The dance is kind of a mess. They're never quite in sync, and I'm not sure whose fault it is. I'm going to blame Usher. Adam praises the commitment and intensity, but felt the dancing was angrier than the music. See, he blames Usher too! Mary is willing to go as far as "It was okay, you guys." Nigel didn't like it much at all.

Mollee and Nathan will be doing the can-can. I believe this is traditionally done with ten or twenty women in a line, so I'm not sure how this pairing will do. It's possible that I'm incorrectly confusing the can-can and a regular Rockettes-style kickline, in which case I look forward to this show educating me. And here's Tyce Diorio with the claim that the can-can was originally a dance for couples. In the 1830s. If you say so, Tyce. So the dance, logically enough, is to "Can Can Suite" by Offenbach/Ponchielli. And Mollee's got the red-and-pink ruffly dress and everything. Honestly, it looks like a couple of kids dancing the can-can. And then Nathan busts out the spins, which are amazing. I'm not saying I want Mollee to act sexy, exactly, but I wouldn't mind some bawdiness, if you know what I mean. Adam praises their energy and Mollee's "prim little areas." Mary goes with the fairly obvious "Yes you can-can!" joke. And we are reminded about Mollee's hurt ankle. Nigel claims that the original can-can dancers didn't wear underwear, and Mollee is quick to distance herself from that. For some reason, when the phone number is read out and the dancers have to mime "four", Nathan decides to go with that "IV Real" gesture from a couple of season ago.

Okay, who's next? Oh, Russell and Noelle! They have Tyce for a contemporary routine. Tyce wants Russell to use his face to paint Noelle's chest. Whatever you say, man. They're dancing to Diana Krall's "A Case of You". It's proper contemporary, which means that they're dressed in white and Noelle has a baggy shirt. Russell is all flippy-flippy and Noelle is all floppy-floppy. Adam calls the dancers gorgeous and refers to the "asymmetrical chaos". That's how you talk after a contemporary piece. Mary calls it "out of this world" and Nigel pervs it up about that "paint your face across her chest" line. He also claims to have forgotten that Russell's a street dancer, which I don't believe. I mean, considering that Nigel brings it up every single time he talks about Russell.