Ashleigh and Jakob have a cha-cha, courtesy of Jean-Marc Generoux and France. She's billed as "France Generoux" in the captions, but Cat just calls her "France!" So I've decided to split the difference. This time, she's just France. Aaand that's all the time I'm going to devote to her. The music is "Cha Cha Heels (Ralphi Rosario Radio Edit)" by Rosabel feat. Jeanie Tracy. I'd like to introduce a rule that Mary Murphy isn't allowed to use technical dance lingo to criticize anything danced to a Radio Edit. And the "feat." in the artist credit is also a no-go. Anyway, there's a lot of awesome precise dancing and grinding. Although I'd believe them if they claimed this was a disco number. Jakob is dancing with a lot of swagger. Is this a dance where swagger is appropriate? Let's find out! Adam: "Jakob, how did it feel visiting Planet Ashleigh?" He also complains about the "hungry jazz look" that you get in ballroom. It kind of degenerates into Adam Shankman mocking ballroom tropes, and that's a lot of fun. Mary praises Ashleigh's legs, and we get a shot that highlight the legs of Ashleigh, Jakob, and even Cat. Nigel takes a mild swipe at all the "concept routines" we've been seeing, saying "I so love Dancing With the Stars and just seeing dancing." Huh. I was convinced that it was Nigel who was pushing for all these gimmicky dances. Ashleigh and Jakob go with this season's hand gesture (a heart made out of thumbs and forefingers, with the other six fingers held up) for their phone number.

Well, that was a pretty good show! I have a feeling that Mollee and Nathan might land in the bottom again, and that Kathryn and Victor will get cut instead.

Monty has seen Hellzapoppin' all the way through twice. Do not attempt this at home. You can email Monty at montykins@gmail.com if that's your idea of a good time.